13 February, 2008

Middlesbrough’s Secret Weapon

I know what you’re thinking; with Jeremie Aliadiere as your primary forward, why would you ever look elsewhere for a striker? He’s now got 6 league goals in 8 years for Christ’s sake, surely it’d be a touch unfair to draft in anyone else?!

Ok sarcasm aside, here’s the point. New signing Alfonso Alves has previously scored more goals in ONE GAME than it turns out Aliadiere has in almost his whole professional career. The awesomely-named Brazilian ace bagged 7 (seven) of his 34 goals for the Dutch club Heerenveen against fellowEredivisie side SE Hercules last October, in a blitz that ended 9 – 0 to the side from the Friesland province.

After much internet research, STT has uncovered evidence of this incredible septupal feat; check Alfonso running tings here:

STT was further wondering if this incredible effort has ever been bettered, and thankfully the News of the World football annual came to our rescue. It reliably informs us that twice in English history players have indeed bagged more than 7 goals in one game, while 4 others have matched it; Ted Drake (Arsenal vs Aston Villa – 1935), James Ross (Preston vs Stoke – 1888), Neville Coleman (Stoke vs Lincoln – 1957) and Tommy Briggs (Blackburn vs Bristol Rovers – 1955).

So hats off then to these two gentleman below, who have truly set the bar for individual brilliance, and also presumably, for selfishness:

In Division 3 North, Robert ‘Bunny’ Bell scored 9 (nine) for Tranmere against Oldham in 1934, even missing a penalty in the dying minutes. This is topped however only by Joe Payne, who in Division 3 South, 1936, playing for Luton Town against Bristol Rovers, actually scored 10 (ten) in one game, and finished the season with 55 of the team’s total 103 goals.

Legends, both of them. Will these remarkable efforts ever be bettered??