Iain Dowie - The Most Sacked Man of the Millenium?

Coventry City sacked Iain Dowie today, after a poor run of results, which has left Coventry in 19th place in the Championship. Rumours that he has left to pursue a modelling career are totally fabricated. This shitcanning comes as the latest in a real string of P45s for the ex-Northern Ireland striker and must make Dowie the most sacked man in the recnet history of anything, let alone football management.

Dowie started his management career as the caretaker boss at Queen's Park Rangers in 1998, until he was replaced by the returning Gerry Francis. This taste of successful management, albeit for only 2 games, led to Dowie taking the vacant position at Oldham, as he had waited calmly in the wings until Mick Wadsworth decided it was time to bugger off. Dowie did fairly well for his first season, leading the mighty Owls into the second division playoffs, before financial difficulties forced him out the next season. Although he didn't actually get sacked from Oldham, Dowie wasn't actually getting paid for the last few months of his tenure, which is as big a hint as any, I suppose.

The Nagasaki suntanned Simon Jordan persuaded Dowie to come to Crystal Palace in 2003 and all was peachy for a couple of seasons, with Dowie turning the club around and leading Place to the Premiership in 2005, helped by Andy Johnson's goalscoring exploits. Dowie even happily dropped back down to the Real League, as Palace were relegated after just one season in the top flight, having impressed with some good performances. Dowie left Crystal Palace at the end of the 2005/06 season, by 'mutual consent'. However, having time left on his contract, it was understood that he would not take another job. Which he did, a whole 8 days later, with top flight Charlton Athletic. Jordan was so infuriated, that he apparently shot his pet labrador in the face and called Dowie to tell him he wasn't going to accept his resignation, but he was sacked.

The case of Charlton Athletic's season last year was a sad and pathetic one, resembling a beached whale of incompetence and foolish appointments, with Dowie only being given 12 Premiership games before he was shown the door, before bringing in his nice-but-crap assistant Les Reed, who got an even shorter period of torture. Dowie then took some time off, before deciding on where he was going to get sacked from next. In the end, he joined Coventry in February last year and has enjoyed mixed league form, tempered by some great Cup results this year, until he was inevitably told to piss off.

During the past few few years, Iain hasn't been alone in his constant striving for unemployment in the face of mediocre performance. His older, uglier (and presumably stupider) brother Bob joined him a Director at Crystal Palace and an assistant at Coventry. Jordan kept Bob hanging about after he sacked his younger brother, presumably just to have someone to point and laugh at, until he got bored of his face and fucked him off in between the sackings of Iain and Peter Taylor. It's pretty obvious why Dowie keeps his brute of a brother around at all times - to make himself feel like he's a good looking guy. Bob looks more like Lawrence Dallaglio, who's has an accident with a garlic press and a bottle of hydrolchloric acid.

STT reckons that Dowie will give it until August to get a job, linking himself with the vacant positions at Liverpool and Newcastle, until he takes the manager position at freshly relegated Scunthorpe for a season and a half. We give him 18 months in the job, until he gets sacked, when Bob become embroiled in a sex scandal involving a fisherman and a pensioner.