13 February, 2008


He may look like a cartoon character and act like Michael Essien’s prag (prison bitch), but it seems that John Obi Mikel is pretty gangsta after all.

At a supposedly “mafia-style” court case (whatever that means) yesterday in Norway, a jury heard how Mikel’s Nigerian agent John Shittu apparently “bullied” his former club Lyn Oslo into agreeing to the £16million move to Chelsea back in 2006. This all came to light during the trial of Lyn Oslo director Morgan Anderson, accused of himself forging Mikel’s signature on a contract initially linking him with Manchester United in 2005. It’s all pretty convoluted and to be honest no-one’s really sure what’s going on, but Anderson appears to be clutching at straws to save his ass from lockdown by painting Mikel and his entourage as something straight from the movies: “It was like meeting the Sopranos,” he said out of the blue, “in the meeting they behaved in a threatening way!”

STT would like to think that this John Shittu character rolls in a way not dissimilar to our personal Jesus, Paulie ‘Walnuts’ Gualtieri, pulling people out of trees on a whim and the like. He has been a father figure to us throughout the years so it is only fitting that we leave you with some of his pearls of wisdom. And remember, never trust anybody who can literally go fuck themselves…

Part 1 -

Part 2 -

Paulie in Italy (Commandatore quote at 1:45) -