27 February, 2008

Car Wars

Isn’t it nice to know that less than a year after so many Premier League footballers failed to cough up even one day’s wages for the ‘Mayday for Nurses’ charity, the boys up at Manchester United are having a weekly tussle to see who can buy the most expensive and fancy car. This also comes not long after revelations last year of the elite drinking games that go on when all these clowns get together on a night out; whoever turns up at the bar with the least cash on them, has to cover the whole night for everyone, no matter what extravagancies the others can come up with. It’s nice to know that their £100,000 a week isn’t being wasted eh?

Wayne Rooney has this week been speaking to a Mercedes dealership down in leafy Surrey, with a mind to purchase a stunning McLaren-Mercedes SLR Roadster, but bizarrely only on the proviso that they can get him one with red seats. As the world’s fastest production convertible, the hefty price-tag of £350,000 is justified by the face-melting acceleration and a top speed of more than 200 mph. You’ll be pleased hear that Rooney already owns a Bentley Continental GT, a Range Rover and a Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder, but this latest target aims to blow all his team-mates out of the water.

Not exactly a man to be outdone however, Cristiano Ronaldo has put his name on the 12-month waiting list for perhaps the only car in the world more exclusive than the majestic SLR. Having taken a shine to it filming recent Nike adverts, Ronaldo is keen to have a Bugatti Veyron of his own, despite the unbelievable £875,000 price tag. Other celebrities already enjoying what Jeremy Clarkson has called 'the best car that will ever.............. be made' include Simon Cowell and Tom Cruise; one is an evil cult leader, serenading the masses with opiates of a bright future drawn from science fiction, the other is Tom Cruise.

McLaren were yesterday available for comment, and when asked if Cristiano might be able to jump the queue, a representative had this to offer: “There is a client list which includes some of the wealthiest people in the world but he has to get in line like everyone else.”

Check out Nemanja's Yugo! It's funny cos he's poor!