28 January, 2008

Cheryl Stands By Her Man

Cheryl Cole came out in the papers yesterday, voicing her support for her unfaithful husband Ashley. The word is that Ashley Cole knocked boots with Aimee Walton (see below) back in early December, pulling her with the romantic line (delivered by one of his mates) ''Ashley wants you to go home with him". Classy. There are also unsubstantiated claims that the once the rumpy-pumpy was unconsumated, due to Cole's level of inebriation, leading to Ashley spewed his guts out all over the floor. Maybe there was a cup involved somewhere along the way. Or he'd been playing Jeff Stelling's drinking game beforehand.

Aimee - Tranny alert!
Cheryl - Definitely not a tranny.
These revelations have led to a series of other skanks coming out and claiming that they too have had a bit of the 'Cashly-loving'. Cheryl's reaction to these sordid stories was to kick Ashley out of the house, but now has apparently forgiven him. The amount of 'hush money' Ashley has given some of these girls varies from £3,000 to £10,000, but it is likely he gave Cheryl a bit more.....

She's far too good for him. But not for STT! Ashley Cole hasn't got shit on us - we're 50 times smarter, richer, have better cars and can take a punch. We're better at football, too.

The always reputable king of the Redtops, The Sun, has provided some more juicy gems of tittle-tattle. Including:
  • Ashley slapped Aimee's bottom so hard his platinum wedding ring left a mark
  • 'My friend was going mad but he just smiled and said to me 'She should be privileged'.
  • 'His T-shirt was covered in sick and he took it off. I remember being really disturbed by how violently ill he was.'
  • Aimee said 'He's wild and really rude in bed. He knew exactly what he was doing and was pretty good, despite not being very big.'
  • 'We started having sex but it wasn't long before he said he felt sick again.'
  • 'Then he just rolled over and vomited on the floor, all over the cream carpet. It was disgusting.'