28 August, 2007

Ashley's ride is too hot for Cheryl

'bit to the left love'

Poor Cheryl Cole. It's bad enough being married to a footballer on £80,000 a week, but it's going a bit far when they expect you to accept ostentatious gifts. She refused Ashley's offer of a £150,000 Bentley, claiming she didn't deserve it. Why not? What does she feel like she's done, or hasn't done? Just being a celebrity beard is effort enough, I think. Or just maybe there weren't enough diamonds in the ashtray and not enough gold in the paintjob.

Still, we support her dogged determination in the face of such aggressive gift giving, but we here at STT feel like we could offer Cheryl a more... er ... suitable ... er ... ride. I've got a clapped out old G reg nova with no MOT and plenty of rust under the arches. Oh, and some wee Jakey's pinched the windscreen wipers and the hubcaps. And one of the wheels. It'd remind her of the estate back home.