08 January, 2008

So Compelling It Has No Title

Following on from such recent TV treats as The Katie and Peter Show and Ghosthunting with McFly, comes the latest candid celebrity monstrosity. As yet untitled, MTV currently has in development a show charting the lives of personality-donor Jermaine Defoe and full-time-socialite/footballer-cum-dumpster Danielle Lloyd as their relationship capitulates from nightclub to perfume launch.

Segments already filmed include a touching moment where Jermaine buys his-and-hers Cartier watches for £20,000 each, and comic high-jinx involving a rubber glove, a chicken carcass and strawberry body paint. Supposedly producers are still scratching their heads over how to market this revealing expose series, but reports linking them with a Panorama crossover seem justified, such is the intellectual worth of the jewel in their 2008 programming crown.

I for one cannot wait for this thrilling and existential masterpiece to be delivered to the unsuspecting public.