According to reports today, big wigs at the
Bosses quite reasonably believe that the crystals will turn the stadium into a hub of “positive energy and harmony,” and a further 100 crystals will also be placed on concrete posts circling the ground. A nameless club source offered this understatement to The Mirror last night: “It's really bizarre behaviour.” The new Thai owners apparently love the superstitious principles of the
Unfortunately we were not privy to the secret crystal-burying ceremony earlier this week, but a different (still anonymous) source helpfully said: “They used a special tool and sunk several crystals into the ground beneath the centre circle.” Executive Chairman Garry Cook now plans to also adopt feng shui throughout the 48,000-seat stadium, with reception areas, offices and the club shop being filled with lucky fortune trees, three-legged money toads and buddhas as we speak. The newly-cynical source continued: “The stadium is littered with these bizarre symbols. It's hilarious, one of the fortune trees still has the tag on, it's from B&Q for £24.95. But if it helps us to win games, then who cares?”
Finally, here’s some gypsy mumbo-jumbo from professional feng shui practitioner (read: unemployed) Simon Brown: “
Great contribution, thanks for that Simon. Now get back to making trousers out of hemp.