03 October, 2007

WAGs are fun part 2

More delving on STT's part into the world of footballer's Wives And Girlfriends has brought you the second edition of WAGS are fun! You lucky, lucky people.

Tomas's ladyfriend Jana Kocurova (what the execs of BMW said to rover, I believe) is nearly as jealous of her chap's pimp cup as Mrs. Santa Cruz.

Owen Hargreaves's girlfriend Janelle Khouri has received accolades from across the globe for being the least misbehaved WAG during England's 2006 World Cup campaign. That sort of backhanded compliment is a bit like saying Hargreaves was England's least shit player during the competition.

American model Kristen Pazik has been married to Shevchenko for 3 years and has heroically sprogged him a brace of sons, despite having a Body Mass Index of minus 5.

Some people say Raul has gone off the boil recently. What they fail to realise is that Mamen 'Mama' Sanz has a rare condition where she has a heart attack if she sees her husband score a goal. It's called Raulusedtobegreatbutisnowcontenttorunaboutbehindthefronttwoemia.

Thierry Henry has just been taken to the cleaners by savvy Nicole Merry, as she got a large wedge of his fortune in the recent divorce. The timing of his move to Barcelona coincided with the split, so she can probably take the credit for driving him out of the country. You go girl!

Raice Olivera is one of the many ex-squeezes of toothy lothario Ronaldo (the big strong one, not the gimpy tricky one). She lasted less than a year before Ronnie got bored or simply forgot about her, like he sometimes forgets how to play football.

Simone Lambe appears to be the most mature WAG here. I can't think of anything nice to say about her, or her boyfriend Michael Ballack, so I'll say nothing at all.

Italian WAGs always seem to be more in-your-face than their European or Brazilian counterparts. But prolific Juve captain Del Piero deserves her. She's not keen on his mate Noel, though.

Here's the money. Sylvie Van Der Vaart, wife of Dutch striker Rafael has it all going on. 'Miss Bundesliga' is so amazing, she could probably end poverty and find a cure for cancer if she wanted to. Wowza.