05 October, 2007

Cradle of Mutha-F**kin’ Civilisation

African football is still in a severe state of shock a week after the worst match-fixing attempt ever has been exposed, earning Cameroonian side Bamboutos F.C. a double relegation. Authorities were tipped off to this audacious attempt to circumvent the sanctity of Cameroon Football Federation (a.k.a. ‘Fecafoot’) laws after their captain Koss Roger actually handed an envelope containing money to opposition Federal F.C.’s skipper Nkouma Rim on the pitch. Conspicuously, just minutes later Rim let Roger breeze past him to score in his side's eventual 3-2 win. Bruce Grobbelaar would be proud.

Despite having over 1000 witnesses, Roger’s plan was still expected to work apparently, as early in the first half he faked injury and was given a cash-stuffed envelope by his team's medic to pass onto a relevant opposition player. One fan could not believe his eyes: “He literally just passed Kim the money on the field. Kim even opened the money to count it, handing Roger back a twenty for his troubles!”

Both Roger and Kim have been banned for two years, while Bamboutos’ physio and medical advisor each received three year bans for their actions. Presumably they were the brains behind this ingenuity.

Unfortunately such instances are not a new thing to football in Cameroon. Just last year, leading referee Divine Evehe made an explicit appeal to all club managers: “Please stop calling us on the eve of your games…If you stop making proposals and attempts to corrupt referees, we shall be impartial. Leave us alone!"

This was after another slightly suspicious instance in 2005 where, on the final day of the season, Federal themselves needed to win by 7 clear goals to claim the title as they were tied with several other sides on points. After reportedly bribing the entire other team, they ended up winning 14-1. Presumably the 1 was so the authorities didn't catch on.

With this all in mind, don’t Chelsea’s two recent Premier League titles look all the more suspicious????

Enjoy the cradle of muthaf**ckin civilisation around half way through.