Amongst all this weekend’s first-day excitement, there were many moments to cherish and many new faces to absorb, but my personal highlight came in an unusual form; a man called Flavio ‘Murtosa’ Teixeira. And just who is he you may ask? Well, he is the new assistant manager at Chelsea, and has been Big Phil Scolari’s right-hand man for more than 25 years now. He is renowned as Scolari’s eyes and ears, and for years has been known in the press as his “secret weapon,” which is perhaps why I had never actually seen the guy until this Sunday lunchtime.
Anyway, seriousness aside, just look at the guy, he is amazing! Everything about him makes me laugh! In terms of frame, Flavio bears more than a passing resemblance to Benny the Ball from Top Cat, and has simply one of the best moustaches you’ll ever dream of seeing. Obviously still-frames don’t do him justice because to see the guy in action scuttling about is too much. He’s just ace and I love him! Not in that if-I-had-to-be-with-a-man-it’d-be-Fernando way, but let’s put it like this: if I were to ever get reincarnated and adopted by a hot gay couple, I’d want it to be Big Phil and Flavio.