Amongst all this weekend’s first-day excitement, there were many moments to cherish and many new faces to absorb, but my personal highlight came in an unusual form; a man called Flavio ‘Murtosa’ Teixeira. And just who is he you may ask? Well, he is the new assistant manager at Chelsea, and has been Big Phil Scolari’s right-hand man for more than 25 years now. He is renowned as Scolari’s eyes and ears, and for years has been known in the press as his “secret weapon,” which is perhaps why I had never actually seen the guy until this Sunday lunchtime.
Anyway, seriousness aside, just look at the guy, he is amazing! Everything about him makes me laugh! In terms of frame, Flavio bears more than a passing resemblance to Benny the Ball from Top Cat, and has simply one of the best moustaches you’ll ever dream of seeing. Obviously still-frames don’t do him justice because to see the guy in action scuttling about is too much. He’s just ace and I love him! Not in that if-I-had-to-be-with-a-man-it’d-be-Fernando way, but let’s put it like this: if I were to ever get reincarnated and adopted by a hot gay couple, I’d want it to be Big Phil and Flavio.
Because Fernando Torres is not perfect, contrary to popular belief. Taking the usual journalistic tack of building someone up to be a hero before tearing them down with great gusto, STT is pleased to announce today that its former-number-one man-crush may not be all that.
You see, while taking a well-earned vacation in the slop-bucket of iniquity that is Miami, Torres was snapped not only looking pasty white, but also having a body like a pre-pubescent girl. We’re used to cringing these days when footballers take their shirts off, because normally they have that disgustingly unrealistic thing that Brad Pitt started in Fight Club. You know, a six pack with that strange ‘V’ shape going down towards the old joystick. Fernando, on the other hand, seems to be pretty undefined and normal, bless his heart, although he could do with a little bike tyre just above his shorts to suitably lower girls’ real world expectations. What is also clear is that England players have truly had the last laugh in this instance; while Torres has been wasting his time winning some darts trophy, the likes of JT and Fat Lampard have been able to knock up their tans a few notches, making them look ultra street for the first excursion of the season to China White. That is, after all, what matters most.
We are of course joking, Nando will always be the top dog in our office, regards of how tanned and buff he is. Also check out how lovely Olalla, his missus, is. In a normal way too, not in the see-through-trousers-and-surgically-enhanced-everywhere manner that we’ve become accustomed to.
So they finally did it, and only the most bitter fans could say they weren’t secretly pleased for Spain. For tournament after tournament they consistently have the best team on paper, but somehow always manage to find a way to capitulate. Finally though this year the duck was broken, and one wonders now whether this young Spanish side might go on to dominate world football for some time now. Kudos then go out to the whole squad, from the ever reliable goalkeeper captain Iker Casillas through midfielder water carrier Marcos Senna to the revelationary front-two of Fernando Torres and David Villa. No kudos however to professional racist Luis Arrogances, who skulked around like a seasoned sex offender and insisted on substituting Torres at every available opportunity.
The tournament in general was a touch underwhelming really, and whether that was just due to an all-round lack of goals is up for debate. Of course the correct answer is that most of the best early games were broadcast at 5 pm when most people are at work, so to be honest I think the main complaint was that the Euro just flew under the radar a bit too much and thus never really built any momentum. I mean, sorry, no the real reason the tournament sucked was that England weren’t in it.
Seriously though, few unknown faces really impressed (the majority of the ace Russian lads had of course just won the UEFA Cup a monthago) and the old guard of France and Italy failed to turn up really. As usual Portugal and Holland flattered to deceive, while the fancied pre-tournament outsiders Croatia failed to build on a cracking group-stage masterclass against Germany. Overall you have to say that the best team won it though, and it’s reassuring that the so-called ‘beautiful game’ finally translated into major international success for Spain.
Apologies for the delay is posting this report by the way, but I hope you all appreciate that this is due to the mammoth effort of sourcing our own photos for perhaps the first time in STT history. Admittedly ‘sourcing our own photos’ meant me finding the right cable to connect my phone to the computer, but still, credit where credit’s due eh.
I hope you enjoy the action shots taken out and about in several of the bars we advised you to go to in advance, we definitely had a good time with plenty of different country’s fans, you were all most accommodating! A final shout-out to that one lone German fan down in Stockwell when Portugal went out of the tournament, I really thought you were going to get cut by the final whistle.
Finally then, here are the boring lists. Feel free to agree / argue / feign indifference.
Official Euro 2008 Team of the Tournament (as chosen by those clever bods in UEFA’s technical committee. And Gerard Houllier)
Goalkeepers: Gianluigi Buffon (Italy), Iker Casillas (Spain), Edwin van der Sar (Netherlands)
Defenders: Jose Bosingwa (Portugal), Philipp Lahm (Germany), Carlos Marchena (Spain), Pepe (Portugal), Carles Puyol (Spain), Yuri Zhirkov (Russia).
Midfielders: Hamit Altintop (Turkey), Luka Modric (Croatia), Marcos Senna (Spain), Xavi Hernandez (Spain), Konstantin Zyryanov (Russia), Michael Ballack (Germany), Cesc Fabregas (Spain), Andres Iniesta (Spain), Lukas Podolski (Germany), Wesley Sneijder (Netherlands).
Forwards: Andrei Arshavin (Russia), Roman Pavlyuchenko (Russia), Fernando Torres (Spain), David Villa (Spain).
Hard to argue with that really, although I feel little Portuguese maestro Deco also deserves a mention in there. Honorable mentions too go out to Turkey’s midfielder Arda Turna and Czech winger Libor Sionko.
Just for completeness sake, the overall Player of the Tournament went to Spain string-puller Xavi by the way. “We have chosen Xavi because he epitomizes the Spanish style of play. He was extremely influential in the whole possession, passing and penetrating kind of game that Spain played,” said Andy Roxburgh head of UEFA's technical committee.
Flops of the Tournament – Luca Toni, Mario Gomez, Cristiano Ronaldo, Karim Benzema, Antonio Di Natale
Phew, it’s been a looong nine months. Starting this self-facilitating media node all the way back in August, expectations were high but realistic. Obviously we knew we were good, but short of distracting our friends during their daily slice of accountancy/bespoke solutions/eco-war, the fear was that it would be difficult to break into the mass market. But after many weeks of spam posts on message boards and nuisance law suits, the tide started to turn, and with the help of some like-minded individuals, we seem to have done rather well in our freshman (people in America read this and everything, don’t you know) year. I’d just like to take this opportunity then to thank Ryan and all the guys over at The Spoiler, Jeremy and the Albion Road team, Tom at soccerpro.com (provider of a quite sharp Portugal shirt might I add), Ahmed and the Soccerlens folks, plus finally, Andy and all the other sites that are currently spanking us in the Liquid Football Pro Evo tournament!
Right, self-congratulatory circle-jerk out of the way. Since August we’ve enjoyed 38 weeks of Premier League action, plus an exciting Carling Cup, perhaps the most entertaining FA Cup in recent memory, and also the most dominant English monopoly of the Champions League to date. There have been heroes and zeroes, goals and gaffes, nutmegs and elbows, and as we reach the end of our first year in the blogosphere, we’d like to invite you to join us for the first Annual STT Sniffers. This is a celebration of the best and worst this fine season has had to offer, highlighting the match-winners and the flops of a season that has gone right down to the wire for the first time in years. Manchester United were undoubtedly worthy of their second successive crown, and based on their form throughout the year, who could begrudge them a Champions League victory too? Our focus has always been Premier League, but outside of the top flight we’ve also seen some of the most dramatic twists and turns, with virtually all promotions and relegations being decided on the final day. So congratulations as well to West Bromich Albion, Stoke City, Swansea, Nottingham Forest, the MK Dons, Peterborough, Hereford, and last but not least, Aldershot.
Team of the Season
I’m sure by now enough dust has settled for everyone and his dog to have come up with their own team of the season, but here for completeness’ sake is ours. We’ve tried to capture the whole spectrum of the season, so while certain players impressed in spells, consistency and number of appearances also had to come into consideration. With honourable mentions we’ve tried to pay tribute to others that we’ve enjoyed watching, so while there is inevitably still some big-4 weighting, hopefully most clubs are represented in some capacity.
Keeper:
David James
Like a fine wine, or an inexperienced prostitute, DJ continues to get better with age. He is more confident now than ever before, commanding in the air, and worth at least a couple of goals per game with his natural shot-stopping ability. Producing several contenders for save of the season, on the back of this year’s showing, DJ should surely be considered for a recall to the national team.
Honorable mentions: Brad Friedel, Chris Kirkland, Craig Gordon, Ali Al-Habsi, Roy Carroll
Left Back:
Patrice Evra
The loss of Gabriel Heinze in the summer was expected to be a huge blow to Manchester United’s title-defending aspirations but in Patrice Evra Alex Ferguson uncovered one of the most impressive wing-backs in Premier League history. Defensively, Evra has the pace and intelligence to read any striker (even Lionel Messi), while going forward he has almost as much guile and trickery as Cristiano Ronaldo. As first full seasons go, this was up there with the very best.
Honorable mentions: George McCartney, Gael Clichy, Charles N’Zogbia
Central Defence:
Nemanja Vidic
While many have plumped for Vidic’s central-defensive partner Rio Ferdinand, for our money, this hard-as-coffin-nails Serbian has been the stand-out, with Ferdinand looking a lesser player alongside a replacement such as Wes Brown. Physically imposing but softly spoken, Vidic has never looked in danger this season, handling everyone from Kevin Davies to Fernando Torres with aplomb. Extra kudos for almost always having blood pouring from some part of his anatomy without him realising/caring.
Honorable mentions: Joleon Lescott, Martin Laursen, Rio Ferdinand, Martin Skyrtl, Jonathon Woodgate
Central Defence:
Micah Richards
One of the real revelations of the season, this young Englishman was fast-tracked along with local lad Michael Johnson into an almost entirely continental City team compiled by Sven in the off-season. Built like a boxer and as fast as any striker, Richards has it all at just 19 years of age, reading the game superbly and clearly learning admirably from his rock of a defensive partner Richard Dunne. With interest from many major European superpowers, the world is his oyster as they say.
Honorable mentions: Ricardo Carvalho, Richard Dunne, Paul Scharner, Phil Jagielka, Steven Taylor
Right Back:
Bacary Sagna
Defensive consistency has been the downfall of Arsenal this year in many ways, but down both flanks they have been impressive, with pace and movement key. Sagna has slotted effortlessly into Wenger’s style of play and intent, with his marauding runs and crossing ability providing Adebayor with a good portion of his goals this year.
A no-brainer obviously, you don’t need me to tell you he’s been a bit tasty this year. As individual seasons go, this has to be considered one of the greatest the Premier League has ever seen, and check back later this week when we will be attempting to gauge its place in history.
Honorable mentions: Ashley Young, Niko Krancjar, Stuart Downing, Ryan Babel, Elano
Central Midfield:
Michael Ballack
As if there was every any doubt that the German captain would come good in the Premier League, Ballack has been the dynamo that propelled Chelsea to within touching distance of a third league title in four years. Despite early season injuries, Ballack makes the cut for a revelationary last six months, scoring vital goals and running the midfield single-handedly for much of the time.
Honorable mentions: Javier Mascherano, Gareth Barry, Sulley Muntari, Michael Essien
Central Midfield:
Cesc Fabregas
While his incredible early season form has dissipated somewhat in recent months, this teenage Spaniard has still been one of the players of the season. In combination with the now-departed Flamini, Cesc has had the freedom to show off his incredible passing and long-range shooting ability. In many ways, Arsenal in general have failed to live up to Cesc’s standards this year, but with a talent like this to rebuild around, the Gunners should be back on track next season.
Honorable mentions: Mathieu Flamini, Steven Gerrard, Owen Hargreaves, Mark Noble, Jimmy Bullard
Winger/Attacking Midfield:
David Bentley
Over the last three seasons, the ex-Arsenal man has completed a transformation into a young David Beckham, but on paper he actually has more to offer than the LA playboy. With delightful footwork and running ability, Bentley’s passing and shooting have been second to none this year, rightfully earning him a spot in the national side. A measure of his season is that the only bad thing I can think to say about him is that he normally has quite a shit haircut.
Honorable mentions: Mikel Arteta, Sebastien Larsson, James Harper, Wilson Palacios, Martin Petrov
Striker:
Fernando Torres
A personal favourite for a couple of years now while playing at Athletico Madrid, it’s been great to see el nino mature into one of the very best strikers in the world. Blessed with electric pace and able to score with either foot or head, it’s been his work ethic and determination that has impressed the most. Constantly subject to treatment from bruising centre-halfs, Torres has rarely complained or theatrically gone to ground, instead always dusting himself off to get the last laugh. In conclusion, if I had to be with a man, it would probably be him.
Honorable mentions: Emmanuel Adebayor, Gabriel Agbonlahor, Brian McBride, Yakubu, Jermain Defoe, Benjani
Striker:
Roque Santa-Cruz
One of the league’s coolest players without doubt, Roque has had an exceptionable debut season, scoring goals for fun against all opposition. It’s testament to his deft feet that the big Paraguayan has never has he been considered a traditional target man, but rather a old-fashioned centre forward that has evoked the ghost of Alan Shearer at Ewood Park.
Honorable mentions: John Carew, Carlos Tevez, Robbie Keane, Kevin Davies Tuncay Sanli, Dirk Kuyt
Disappointments of the Season
It’s a short list sure, but that’s because most players who’ve been shite this season were always expected to be. Big price-tags coupled with big reputations contributed to the inclusion of these players, which is why perhaps there is a slight Chelsea bias, but overall Chelsea have been generally quite impressive under Avram Grant. They gave Man U a run for their money carrying so much dead weight so just imagine their success had the below five played anything like as well.
Florent Malouda:
Came with a great reputation from Lyon where, in a fantastic attacking team playing regularly, Malouda was a stand-out alongside Brazilian maestro Juninho. However with sporadic appearances at Chelsea, who are very much from the go-back-to-go-forward school of thought, he has looked slow and uninterested, rarely contributing more than a miss-hit pass.
Claudio Pizarro:
Playing up-front with Roque Santa Cruz, Pizarro was a pretty big hit at Bayern Munich. In terms of physicality, he had everything needed to succeed in the Premier League too, but all year he’s just been behind the pace and as blunt as a balloon in front of goal.
Alex:
Chelsea’s player last season but on loan to PSV for work-permit reasons, big things were expected of Alex this year considering how well he was thought of in Holland. Given the perfect opportunity to impose himself with John Terry injured for parts of the season, Alex failed to pick up the game in this country, consistently struggling for pace, positioning and in all honesty, anything approaching competence really.
Tal Ben Haim:
Such a bizarre signing in the first place, this ex-Bolton man has rarely featured for Chelsea after a few early season mishaps, and one wonders exactly what his future will hold. As is, I’m sure he’s happy to soak up a huge wage for doing nothing, but guaranteed at most other clubs he’d be able to play often enough to get his metaphorical mojo back.
Andriy Shevchenko:
Another year and another pale imitation of the once-great man we knew at AC Milan. Shevchenko has almost been more frustrating this season after a couple of promising showings, but his woeful lack of pace is quite sad to watch. Word on the street predicts a return to the San Siro in the summer but one wonders if he’ll be able to produce any kind of form even back in his spiritual home.
David Rozehnal:
As a Czech Republic international who was Paris Saint-German’s Player of the Year in 06-07, the signs were definitely good, but alas it turned out that he joined the long line of abysmal Newcastle defensive acquisitions over the years. Having stayed at the Magpies just five months, Rozehnal went out on loan to Lazio at the end of January where he only played seven times. Neither team wants him and with good reason; even at Newcastle this year he stood out for being rubbish.
David Nugent:
Apparently more intent on sending naked snaps of himself to teenage girls these days, Nugent was doomed to failure from very early on, when reports reached the press that Redknapp wanted to sell him just two months after buying. Rarely used even in the Cups, it’s hard to believe that this is the same man who bagged an England call-up last year after a great season for Preston almost carried them into the Championship play-offs. Having scored zero Premier League goals this season (that’s one less than Titus Bramble) Nugent will undoubtedly be on his bike in the summer, with Redknapp keen to add another decent forward to his promising squad.
Darren Bent:
So much money gambled on a big fish from a very small pond, the pressure was always going to be on Bent from the start. With Berbatov and Keane main-stays should fitness allow, it was difficult for Bent to establish himself initially at Spurs, and with the arrival of Juande Ramos, it looked like his days were numbered. Sure he bagged a few goals coming off the bench, and actually looked sharp in places, but unless regular football follows elsewhere next year, it could be game over for this English prospect.
Dirk Kuyt:
Yes that’s right, the Dutchman manages to make both lists in some capacity. Perhaps calling him a disappointment is harsh, but with such a woeful Premier League scoring record, it’s hard to call this striker anything else. His work-rate is second to none, and you could argue the running he does off the ball perhaps allows Torres the space and time to score as many as he does, but still, three goals in a 38-game season is poor to say the least.
Emmanuel Eboue:
I think he was pretty good a few years ago but Christ, Eboue has been appalling this season. He has looked so uninterested, yet bizarrely self-important, while going through the motions in a variety of positions,. Furthermore his aggressive manner make him surely one of the league’s most objectionable chaps, even by Arsenal’s high standards. Normally I try not to get personal, but I just can’t stand him and wish he’d leave.
Freddie Ljunberg:
West Ham have been pretty flat last couple of years generally but a swan-song was certainly expected from Ljunberg as he finally bid goodbye to Arsenal. What followed this year was anonymous at best, failing to do anything really of significance as his glory days ebbed slowly further into the past. It was always a risky signing, but Ljundberg really undermined Curbishley’s confidence in him by rarely even trying to contribute in a team where his class should have stood out, even if he legs wouldn’t. Go back to modelling pants is our sage advice.
Goals of the Season
Ok, this started life as a Top 10, but research revealed an enormous cannon of great goals this season, so here instead then is just a Top 15, compiled in no particular order other than when they came into my head. Click on each chap’s name for a handy youtube video link because at the end of the day, this feature is pointless without. For a nice bit of audience participation, please send us your personal top 3 picks to the usual address.; if it matches our own editorial choice, I’ll buy you a pint. Maybe.
About as true a hit from a stationary ball as you’ll ever see.
Cristiano Ronaldo - Manchester United vs Portsmouth
Out of several contenders, the best free-kick Ronaldo hit this year.
Stylian Petrov - Aston Villa vs Derby
http://youtube.com/watch?v=-Ow2YcGY0ak
Long-range accuracy from the ace Bulgarian.
Nani - Manchester United vs Middlesbrough (he did something almost as good against Spurs too)
Nani at his thrilling best; once his maturity and consistency improves, he could be as good as Ronaldo.
Dean Ashton - (35 secs in) West Ham United vs Manchester United
In a season where we actually saw a disproportionally large amount of overhead kicks (Andre Bikey anyone??), this was by far the stand-out; superb timing and co-ordination.
Cristiano Ronaldo - (50 secs in) Manchester United vs Newcastle
He scored a hat-trick in this game, but the second was such a peach. Effortless control and a world-class finish to cap off a typical United passing move.
Fernando Torres - Liverpool vs Middlesbrough
In a season where most of his 24 league goals were crackers, this long-range hammer was the pick.
Carlos Tevez - Manchester United vs Middlesbrough
Looking for a goal to sum up both United’s slickness and also Tevez’s telepathic interplay with Wayne Rooney, this was the obvious choice. How do you defend against soemthing this good?
Emmanuel Adebayor - Arsenal vs Tottenham
Despite scoring as many goals as Torres this year, I’m still just not convinced Adebayor is actually any good. This however, is absolutely sublime.
Fabio Rochemback - (2 mins in) Middlesbrough vs Manchester City
Anything Ronaldo can do, Rochamback can do too! The Brazilian playmaker was outstanding this year, and this final-day goal capped off his last season in this country.
Kenny Miller - Derby vs Newcastle
Back in the days when Derby were optimistic about their time in the sun, Miller announced himself in the Premier League with this absolute screamer.
Tuncay Sanli - Middlesbrough vs Derby
The Turk has banged in quite a few this year but none better than this technically superb near-post volley.
Daryl Murphy - Sunderland vs Wigan
Sunderland can hold their heads high this year, despite having a pretty mish-mash team at times. Not sure Murphy did much else over the season, but this goal was pretty damn good.
Sebastian Larsson - (2:20 in) Birmingham vs Tottenham
Perhaps made all the sweeter due to his ex-Arsenal pedigree, this screamer came deep into injury time and cemented his promise as one to watch over the next couple of years.
The highlight of a mediocre season, Sheva seemed like his old self in this game; thoroughly involved and alert, this fine strike was undoubtedly the old Milan days shining through.
Cristiano Ronaldo - Manchester United vs Aston Villa
Can you honestly say that anyone else in the league would even have attempted to do this?
Game of the Season
Portsmouth 7 – 4 Reading
Even though it took place early on in the year, this stood out instantly as a match that wasn’t gonna get topped quickly. Thrilling end-to-end action, and one of those rare occasions where virtually every shot went in, leading to much Chris Kamara-based hilarity for those Jeff Stelling fans amongst you. Funniest thing about it was that, even though it set a new Premier League record for goals in a game, the score should’ve really been 8 – 4 as Pompey missed a penalty.
Honourable mentions: Tottenham 4 – 4 Chelsea, Tottenham 6 – 4 Reading, Aston Villa 4 – 4 Chelsea
Team Performance of the Season:
Manchester United 6 – 0 Newcastle
Honestly this should’ve finished like a cricket score, with all of United’s goals coming second half after they toyed with Newcastle from the first whistle like a lion with a paraplegic (sorry). A quite perfect Ronaldo hat-trick was the highlight, but every single phase of their play oozed class. If this wasn’t enough, in the return fixture a month later, United beat the Magpies 5 – 1. Baby steps eh King Kev?
Honorable mentions: Chelsea 6 – 0 Derby, Middlesbrough 8 – 1 Manchester City
Final Thoughts…
So quite a year then. Hopefully this rather lengthy run-through has helped jog a few memories and made you reflect on what has actually been a pretty great season of top flight football. Manchester United and Chelsea continued their dominance, and the gap between the big-4 and the rest widened even still, so the question has to be: next season can any of the nearly men finally cross the boundary and break into the top 4? Aston Villa, Blackburn, Everton, Manchester City and Portsmouth have all impressed over the last 9 months, but still lack the cash and consistency to really threaten even Liverpool.
Finally, can West Brom, Stoke City and Bristol City or Hull handle it in this league next season then? Short answer, yes with an ‘if;’ long answer, no with a ‘but.’ Teams will perhaps relish the chance to play West Brom because of their open attacking style, whereas Stoke present quite a different proposition. Big and strong throughout the whole team, they are reminiscent of Bolton under Sam Allerdyce, and with a couple of cultured additions to the squad could well surprise some people. Bristol and Hull meanwhile also aspire to play the right kind of football, but one just wonders where the goals are gonna come from against rock-solid defences. For two of them though, it’s their first experience of the Premier League, so whatever the outcome this time next year, it’ll be a hell of a ride.
Happy Wedenesday loyal readers and thanks for sticking with us all the way to the end of our first full season; it’s been hard work at times but we’ve got there. Anyway enough back-slapping, on with the vitals.
Manchester United were rightly crowned champions after beating Wigan, while Chelsea were held at home by Bolton. Over the season there can be no doubt that United have gone about things the right way, played the best football, and in Ronaldo, Rooney and Tevez they have perhaps the most deadly forward three in recent memory. At the back too they have been sublime, with Vidic and Evra particularly worthy of plaudits, but everyone has played their part in reality, from the frustrating Nani to the experienced professionalism of Ryan Giggs.
Arsenal and Liverpool take their standard Champions League qualification spots then, while Everton got the win they needed to secure UEFA Cup football yet again next season. Villa, Blackburn, Portsmouth and ManCity can feel happy with themselves over the course of the season too, challenging at times for that fifth spot but never quite maintaining the form in long enough spells to really pressure Everton. Middle of the road outfits such as Spurs, West Ham, Newcastle and Middlesbrough have been uneven to say the least and have surely infuriated fans with sublime play one week, only to not turn up at all the following week.
Down at the bottom then and Fulham were rewarded for excellent recent form over the last ten games of the season. Reading and Birmingham were cruelly relegated despite scoring four each on the last day against teams with nothing to play for. Wigan, Bolton and Sunderland have played their part in reality throughout the year too, but will certainly be looking for more consistency next year to avoid another relegation scrap post-Christmas. Until August…
Premier League Team of the Week (based on OPTA stats, Fantasypremierleague.com ratings and my own expert eye):
Keeper – Casey Keller (unbeaten)
Defence – Wes Brown (solid), Joleon Lescott (quality), Gael Clichy (expansive), David Murphy (class)
Midfield – Stuart Downing (brace), Manuel Fernandes (tricky), Nobby Solano (cultured)
Up Top – Alfonso Alves (triple), Fernando Torres (swift), Leroy Lita (sharp)
Weekly Awards:
Goal of the Week – This goes to Fabio Rochembach for his absolute pearler of a free-kick, hit with Ronaldo-esque swerve. See it and the rest of Boro’s rout here, and watch out for other contenders for this prize from Stuart Downing and City’s Elano with a consolation effort late on:
Nutmeg of the Week – Matty Taylor nails both Alex and Petr Cech with a pin-point drive to silence the already-pretty-quiet Chelsea faithful
Save of the Week – Jamie Ashdown claws out a vicious a Simon Davies shot lowdown on his left-hand side
Skill of the Week – He’s done it time and time again this year, but Fernando Torres sublime shoulder-drop-and-gas-pedal earned him yet another goal this weekend
Miss of the Week – Cameron Jerome produced one of the misses of the season, somehow skying in front of an open goal 3 yards out
ASBO of the Week – Paul Scholes, not exactly renowned for his tackling ability, goes right through the back of Wilson Palacios and sends him about ten feet up in the air.
Embarassment of the Week – A certain England international puts on the worng shorts and has to quickly change in the tunnel:
Ouch of the Week – Poor John Terry dislocates his elbow after a clash with Petr Cech.
Quote of the Week – Alen Hansen speaks the truth about Alex Ferguson: “If he wins the Champions League again he may have a claim to be the best there has ever been”
Hero of the Week – Ryan Giggs had basically a perfect footballing day; he equaled Bobby Charlton’s appearance record for United, scored the winning goal, and claimed his record-breaking tenth league title. Doesn’t get much better than that but he still wasn’t remotely excited in the post-match interview.
Zero of the Week – Alex McLeish and Steve Coppell have to hold their hands up and take responsibility. The former took what was a talented, above average side and got them relegated, while Coppell was all too happy to rest on his laurels from last season while the rest of the league figured them out.
Personal Highlight of the Week – Ronaldo, Torres, Fabregas, Bentley etc etc…it’s been the most exciting season for some time and it’s been a pleasure to walk you all through it.
Less than a week before Liverpool are due to face Chelsea in the Champions League semi-finals, still the backroom beef is ongoing, with co-owner Tom Hicks describing chief executive Rick Parry's time at the club as a “disaster.” Last week Hicks called on Parry to resign, but the former Premier League chief, still backed by co-owner George Gillett, rejected the demand. With 50/50 owners Hicks and Gillett no nearer to resolving their battle for control, and Parry and team manager Rafa Benitez also failing to see eye-to-eye, off-field issues are in danger of engulfing the club yet again.
Speaking for the first time since rumours of a falling out between the two American co-owners reached the press, Hicks told Sky:
“Look at what's happened under Rick. It has been a disaster, we have fallen so far behind the other leading clubs. We should have the stadium built by now. We have two or three major sponsors when we should have 12 or 15. We are not doing anything in Asia the way Manchester United and Barcelona are, and we have a tremendous number of fans in Asia. We have still got the top brand in the world of football but that's no good if you don't know how to commercialise it. Rick needs to resign from Liverpool FC. He has put his heart into it but it is time for a change. You have to be able to work with the manager and Rick has proved he can't do that.”
The Texan also revealed he plans to rid the club of all debt by heading up a group of financial backers willing to invest in the club. This comes as news broke today that the club may be forced to sell Ryan Babel and Fernando Torres after problems paying back their loan surfaced. As explained expertly by The Spoiler, Premier League clubs usually fund purchases through television income, but Liverpool made the unusual step of borrowing the money from banking institutions to pay for their two big imports last summer. Therefore if they fail to pay back their outstanding balance and accumulated interest in time, it’ll be bye-bye Babel and farewell Fernando (sorry). This would surely be the last straw for loyal Scouse fans who must be sick to death of this playground bitching and histrionics by now. Torres especially is the Kop newest hero, and in just a season has risen alongside Gerrard as a talismanic figure for Liverpool. If he was forced out due to monetary dealings and paperwork then you can’t help but feel that the two Americans would have an actual mutiny on their hands.
At the end of the day, this situation is symptomatic of the franchise mentality of foreign owners, and their insistence on ‘branding.’ Don’t get me wrong, I am not averse to investors from abroad taking over football clubs, but at the end of the day, football clubs are different from American sports teams, who lack any local anchor or identity. Football teams are not businesses in the traditional sense, and foreign owners must appreciate this, let alone the on-field impact their boardroom turmoil can make manifest.
