Name – Robin Hood
Affiliation – Nottingham Forest
Colour – Caucasian skin pink
Animal – Homo Sapien
Missle Most Commonly Pelted With – Cheap Nerf bow-and-arrow sets
It probably didn’t escape most people’s attention that last season the once-mighty Nottingham Forest earned promotion up into the Championship, and took the first step back towards the greatness that they were associated with for so many years. However, while a lot of folk around the country praised the players and the management there was a behind the scenes change that I think those in the know will acknowledge as playing a far greater part in the drama than pure coincidence.
You see, after many loyal years service, Forest’s old mascot Sherwood the Bear was retired last June, to make way for the considerably more ‘direct’ figure of Robin Hood. You may have heard of Hood’s history while at school, his stories are pretty legendary. In many ways he was the world’s first hooligan, and together with his firm of 7 “merry men,” roughed up a lot of rich folk’s manors with concrete-filled newspapers (oh, he invented concrete too by the way) and re-distributed their wealth to his crew. Even though he wears tights and skirt, the apparently-immortal Robin Hood’s look is definitely more from the Batman school of tight-wearing than the ballet one.
So sure, while Sherwood was running tings kids had a huge smile permanently plastered on their faces, and he used to comically take penalties at half time, but football fans ask yourself this: would you rather have a furry and loveable loser as your talisman, or a tattooed hard-nut who fires iron spikes through opposition supporters’ faces? Exactly.