Because help is at hand for all you aspiring pseudo-footballers out there that don’t give a shit about your career and only want to drive a diamond-encrusted Hummer to China White and back four times a week. You see rather than follow his brother Bradley’s example and head into a life of petty crime, Shaun Wright-Phillips has decided to supplement his astronomical income by setting up his own football academy. Apparently he has done this without a hint of irony either, with the website blurb advertising skills-based coaching and also particular hints about mastering Shaun’s very own dribbling method. Wow, if only the cut-off age wasn’t 12 otherwise I’d be down there in a flash!
Although one of the summer courses started today, don’t worry, because there is another chance to rub shoulders with the small and underwhelming in a fortnight’s time. There are 72 spaces per course so book early, but there must be a website error at the moment because it’s showing that there are still 72 spaces available for the August 25th – 29th academy. I simply cannot believe that.
So direct your browsers to the awesomely-urban stylings of www.clubswp.com then for a real treat. Not only can you book your children on a course guaranteed to make them at least as successful as one the Wright-Phillips boys (possibly the one that’s in jail though), you can also win the chance to join Shaun on an undoubtedly-thrilling Harley Davidson bike ride. Most excitingly however, there is also a club shop where you can buy your very own SWP branded gear…pens, mugs, water bottles, you name it…basically, if you can ruin something with an incongruously-monogrammed logo, he’s done it.