07 August, 2008

I’d Rather Outline My Body in White Chalk

Everyone knows Rio Ferdinand is an absolute joker, but did you also know he is a very astute record label executive? No me neither, but apparently he co-owns and runs the sinisterly-named White Chalk Music, with the worthy manifesto of promoting the hottest urban talent Manchester has to offer. It seems however that he was unable to find any of this talent, so has had to settle for some girl called Nia Jai, an ex-nurse who won a competition to be signed by White Chalk. You know, I hear all the best artists are signed after winning competitions.

Her debut album, the cleverly-titled Black Ice, will be released on October 6, and yes, you’re prayers have been answered, for it does indeed contain Rio dropping verbals on at least one track apparently. In a segment printed today in The Telegraph, the Manchester United man raps: “This is Rio Ferdinand. Make sure you do not sleep on Nia Jai, White Chalk’s first signing. This girl spits out fire.” Wow, those are some big bars, this is clearly not his first time! I have a sneaking suspicion that Mr Ferdinand might well be headlining Glastonbury next year…

Anyway, the first Nia Jai single is imaginatively called ‘Hey Girl,’ and features guest appearances from two clowns called Chipmunk and Natty Boii. Not one to just criticize for the sake of it, I feel it is my duty however to warn you that this is among the worst pieces of ‘music’ ever recorded. Whoever the pre-pubescent guy is who raps the first verse, I’m guessing the infamous Chipmunk, he needs to stop now. Forever.

Rio was obviously quick to big up his first release, hyperbolically dribbling: “Nia's album is incredible; her collaborations with Chipmunk and Sway are a testament to her talent. I'm made up to be launching her first single and album.” The circle-jerk continued with these gushing words from Nia, praising the man who I’m sure is keen to be called her mentor: “Rio has been involved a lot. He has been in the studio with me and texts me with ideas and opinions,” she said ominously. As far as positive indications of future success go, this is pretty lowdown on the scale, but still she seemed pretty pleased that: “He even has my CD in his car.”

Now, this is all very exciting I know, but the real question is: what the hell happened to that Snoop Dogg and D. Beck collaboration we heard about a couple of months ago? Honestly, hearing Beckham’s cartoon character voice over a Dr Dre beat will mean I can die a happy man.

1 comment:

liwo said...

成人電影,情色,本土自拍, 美女交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人貼圖, 成人電影, A片, 豆豆聊天室, 聊天室, UT聊天室, 尋夢園聊天室, 男同志聊天室, UT男同志聊天室, 聊天室尋夢園, 080聊天室, 080苗栗人聊天室, 6K聊天室, 女同志聊天室, 小高聊天室, 情色論壇, 色情網站, 成人網站, 成人論壇, 免費A片, 上班族聊天室, 成人聊天室, 成人小說, 微風成人區, 色美媚部落格, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人論壇, 情色聊天室, 寄情築園小遊戲, AV女優,成人電影,情色,本土自拍, A片下載, 日本A片, 麗的色遊戲, 色色網, ,嘟嘟情人色網, 色情網站, 成人網站, 正妹牆, 正妹百人斬, aio,伊莉, 伊莉討論區, 成人遊戲, 成人影城,

ut聊天室, 免費A片, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友, 本土自拍, 免費A片下載, 性愛,
成人交友,
嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, aV, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片,成人電影,情色,本土自拍,