At the time, somehow it slipped quite under the radar that back in June the FIFA powers-that-be ruled that Adrian Mutu owed Chelsea the princely sum of £9.6million for the whole cocaine debacle that led to the termination of his contract and subsequent free move abroad to Juventus. Now though, after a further two months of appeals, FIFA’s pompously-titled Disputes Resolution Chamber has decided that close to £10million was clearly just a ridiculous sum for an individual to pay, even a footballer. How can one small man from Romania owe an international conglomerate like Chelsea such an insane amount of wonga? Yesterday then the DRC put things right and instead decided that a far more sensible figure for Mutu to pay back would be £13.8 million. Good. That was one expensive line of Devil’s Dandruff Adrian, I hope for your sake it was some raw Bolivian shit!
So here then is Chelsea’s level-headed reaction: “Chelsea is delighted with the DRC’s decision. This is an important decision for football. Not only did the DRC make us a very significant monetary award, the decision also recognised the damaging effect incidents involving drugs has on football and the responsibilities we all have in this area.” No shit they’re delighted, they’ve earned close to £14million for a player they fired! That will almost cover Fat Lampard’s wages over the next five years…
Surely it just makes no sense for one man to owe £13.8million to a club owned by a Russian multi-billionaire, but you know, drugs are bad, mmmkay? Thing is though, Chelsea terminated Mutu’s contract, not the other way around, so they could have just held on to him for the seven month drug ban and then sold him on for some cold hard cash.
So what next? Well of course Mutu can appeal again, but who knows how long that will take. Surely Mutu’s options are either pester current club Fiorentina for some kind of extravagant loan, or just man up and turn to a full-time life of crime. Prostitution, numbers, drug trafficking, arms deals…these are all careers that pay more than football…
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