The Best Damn Club in Town

Since dumping inflatable fun-bucket Nereida Gallardo, Cristiano Ronaldo has been having a whale of a time. In between busy stints tanning himself blacker than night, the Portuguese winger has been rubbing shoulders with Paris Hilton, David Beckham and Justin Timberlake, and dating a foxy Italian model called Letizia Filippi. Presumably her Portuguese isn’t too great, and I doubt he’s learned Italian for her, but whatever, they’ve clearly found a couple of ways to communicate.

Just to compound how much you hate Ronaldo, today the feisty Italian revealed that the pair share a wondrously saucy fantasy: “We have exchanged dozens of hot messages,” she drooled. “My dream would be to get on a private plane, just the two of us, and do it at high altitude. It would be so romantic.” While ‘romantic’ isn’t exactly the word I would’ve chosen, I think you’ll all share my sentiments of violent jealousy.