It’s Tough Being Really, Really Good Looking

For all you lovers of all things lady-shaped, Hollywood beauty Eva Mendes has recently been frolicking around in underwear for Calvin Klein quite a lot. On top of a sweet poster campaign, she has also appeared in a TV commercial stateside that was deemed too hot for common consumption, and subsequently banned by the powers-that-be. As signs go, that’s normally a pretty good one.

Anyway, it seems that she is the latest to join a long line of insanely attractive women who have unveiled a soft spot for David Beckham. Speaking thrillingly to office-favourite Cosmopolitan, the presumably-now-retired-as-an-actress lingerie model said: “Attractiveness is primal – it’s something you can’t put your finger on,’ she tells Cosmopolitan. I’ve met guys who are great looking, but there was no spark, and I’ve met guys who’ve been overweight and balding, but when you talk to them you’re like “wow,” I’m really attracted to this person. Smell is important too. Would David Beckham be as beautiful if he smelt like old socks and bad cheese? Actually, bad example – he probably would.” Eva and David sitting in a tree…K-I-S-S-I-N-G…

On top of the usual tirade of pointless slags like Rebecca Loos and that Chantelle idiot, several upstanding ladies have also expressed an interest in D. Beck, further begging the question of why he insists on punishing himself with that vacuous orange surfboard, the artist-formally-known-as-Posh Spice.

A couple of years ago now both Dannii and Kylie Monogue revealed that they had a crush on the LA Galaxy man, with the sluttier of the sisters telling cracking magazine B that her dream night would involve being spitroasted by Becks and Brad Pitt. Nice.

Real actress Salma Hayek also quite likes a bit of the Beckmeister, outbidding professional man-hater (and editor of Vogue) Anna Wintour to bag a private coaching session with David Beckham for $350,000 at the Madonna and Gucci Malawi Benefit in February 2008.

Finally, who could forget this time last year how excited a pre-lesbian-phase Lindsay Lohan got by the Beckman’s arrival in America, betting socialite pals $50,000 she could lure the married lothario into her cocaine-soaked den of iniquity by Christmas. She failed, and subsequently turned to girls out of desperation. Why Lindsay, why?