03 March, 2008

Good Luck Holding Onto Your Toffees in Jail!!!

Tim Cahill's goal celebration in yesterday's victory over Portsmouth has been revealed as a tribute to his jailed brother Sean, who was sent down for 6 years for GBH last January. Cahill pucnched the corner flag in his trademark post-goal celebration, but then went on to cross his wrists in a fashion not dissimilar to an X-factor hopeful or Kenzie out of Blazin Squad.

Sean assaulted a man in 2004 in London, kicking him in the head repeated when he was on the deck - a tactic possibly picked up from his brother during his stint at Millwall. Everton have since rushed to defend Cahill from accusations that the celebration was in bad taste and a spokesman for the club said this without any hint of irony:

"He is a very articulate young man and will have weighed up the pros and cons and decided to do it because it was a personal and emotional matter."
Cahill might have taken inspiration from Amy Winehouse, whose numerous dedications to her husband Blake Fielder-Civil have pissed fans off around the world. STT hopes that Sean does ok in jail, as the only real experience of incarceration we've had is the fantastic prison dram Oz. If Sean was in Emerald City, that Adebisi would have his hand in his pocket (in every sense) before you could say 'don't shiv me'. Maybe Cahill and the delightful Michael Barton, the cousin of cheery Scouser Joey, could become pen-pals. Who knows, they might learn a bit about tolerance in the process.