Cheryl on Posh (unfortunately no, not in that way)

I really wish people would leave poor (not literally) Victoria Beckham alone. Apparently David is in a huge grump at the moment so it’s taking both of her talents (I assume you can probably work out what those are for yourselves) to keep him from hitting the bottle and ‘doing a Britney.’ And now, to make matters worse, her supposed ‘gal pal’ and ‘BFF’ Cheryl Tweedy has come out and said that Posh is afraid to smile in public.

The Girls Aloud sexpot, who actually holds doctorates in psychology and psychiatry, reckons that the reason behind this is in fact deep-set insecurity. The Scouse Strumpet continued, telling a story about how she once tried to trick Posh into ditching her famous look of vacancy. Supposedly the two girls took their respective hubbies out for a hot double date, and Cheryl spent the whole night reciting the script from ‘The Contest’ episode of Seinfeld over and over again, just to encourage Posh to laugh in front of the paparazzi. “I was like, 'Go on, Victoria - just crack one smile!’ And she was laughing, but she was covering her mouth with her bag,” the honey-snatched-one told STT exclusively. This lack of a public smile baffled Ashley Cole especially, telling us that it completely put him off his McDonalds and ensured that the planned cut party between the four has had to be indefinitely postponed.

There is clearly something going on here, but the usually astute Cheryl might be barking up the wrong tree blaming Posh’s level of ‘self-awareness’ for her consistently miserable look; when you have kids named Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz, self-awareness is clearly not high on your list of priorities. When we hear more on this exciting mystery, don’t fear loyal reader, you will be the first to know…

Yowza..........