24 June, 2008

Ball Boys

You might've noticed over the weekend that Euro 2008 took a turn for the mind-numbingly dull with a couple of real bad bore draws. These were punctuated however by a simply brilliant Russian performance to knock out a hotly-tipped Dutch side, so we decided to take the focus off football and instead shine some light on the former might of the USSR. Amazingly this links seamlessly into another quite famous sporting event currently ongoing just down the road from STT headquarters in sunny Wimbledon. No, not the dogs, but the most prestigious tennis tournament in the world. We all know women's tennis is rubbish in terms of actual ability, but one thing the game is not missing is an abundance of prime Russian female bodies.

Ok, so they're not WAGs, but if you think about it, they are actually quite a lot fitter (on the whole) and generally have some self-respect; quite a jarring change I know. Anyway, enjoy these lovely ladies and remember that they are all of legal age so it's ok to use your mind to think about that ball-boy scenario...you know, where you go into one of their locker rooms to tell them the game's about to start and they're required on court, but then it's bad because they're only just getting dressed and half-naked, and you're both really embarrassed, but then they flash you a cheeky smile and lock the door, and then, using their famously strong racket grip, take hold of your...

Phew, that was exhausting. So it seems to be the case that finally the Russians have finally cracked the genetic code for flexible, young beauty, and as we speak the STT offices are being shipped to Russia for further investigation into their sinister (yet sexy) Cold War ways throughout the remainder of the closed season. If we don't return before the start of the Premier League season, assume that our plans have been discovered and we have been taken hostage by some of these nubile hotties. Do not, repeat DO NOT, under any circumstances attempt to rescue us.


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