05 December, 2007

Definitely not just an excuse to post pictures of her

For all of you out there waiting on tenterhooks to find out exactly how well Abbey Clancy’s acting career is going out in Hollywood, look no further because STT has had an exclusive update from the lady herself. Flying out to L.A. under a pseudonym, we were able to track down Ms Clancy through receipts one of our recon experts had found in a restaurant bin. He was then able to position himself in a plant pot at said restaurant, and then it was just a matter of playing the waiting game.

62 days, 13 hours and 58 minutes later, she finally returned, and conveniently sat at a table right next to our (now malnourished and somewhat feral) reporter. What follows therefore is an exclusive excerpt from a conversation we overheard between the future Mrs Peter Crouch, and her agent.

We can reveal that she has shockingly been advised to lose her Liverpudlian accent if she wants to really make it as a model / actress / singer / coke-slut in the US scene. The busty lingerie wet-dream revealed to her agent that many people in the industry have claimed that they are unable to understand her lyrical Scouse twang, and so she has since been forced to take elocution class to learn, quote, “how to pronounce words correctly and stuff.” Succinct as ever.

Don’t listen to them Abbey, they don’t know what their talking about! They spell ‘colour’ wrong and call pavement a ‘sidewalk’ and everything!

Many thanks to FHM Magazine for not agreeing to let us post these pictures up by the way, Nuts or Zoo would’ve been down.

UPDATE 1: The lovely naughty pictures of Abbey have mysteriously disappeared from this post. STT's team of codemonkeys are working on this as we speak, but probably want to go down the pub instead. It is possible they are so hot, the interwebz itself has popped a million boners and has ceased to function as we know it.