Rock and/or Roll

For those readers who have only ever known life in the Premier League, the name Gareth Ainsworth might not mean anything, but anyone who’s ever followed lower league football will have certainly crossed paths with the current QPR player/coach. You see, he’s from the old school, back when men were men, and training consisted purely of chips and a yard of ale. With a career spanning two decades, twelve separate clubs and more than 350 league appearances, you have to respect the guy, especially in the land of overpaid prima-donnas we currently inhabit. Anyway, find all the info you need on the guy over at his own official website (last updated in 2002 by the way) because we have more pressing matters to attend to than a trip down memory lane.

Since he tried his hand at management, Ainsworth has changed. He has had a look around and thought “all these other British managers are pussies,” so rather than systematically beat them up one-by-one, he’s gone the Slaven Bilic route and started a kick ass rock band. The crew are quite obliquely named Dog Chewed the Handle, but have enough long hair, leather and spunk to give anyone a run for their money, even the reinvented Guns and Roses. The Spoiler have managed to dig out some actual gig footage, from a recent headlining set in an undisclosed Middlesex Pub.

Firstly, enjoy Gareth and the boys knocking out The Animals’ classic We Gotta Get Out of This Place, to a somewhat lukewarm reception:

Next, it’s bang up to date, with the Kaiser Chiefs’ I Predict a Riot (excuse the ropey camera work and sound quality):

Finally, here DCTH are with another song that I recognise but am probably too young to actually know:

Despite the bizarre (and apparently involuntary) pelvic thrusts throughout that last performance, and a frankly terrifying response from the older and larger ladies in attendance, I think they’re actually pretty good! Ainsworth has a pretty sweet Chris Cornell-esque growl going on, and as long as he doesn’t start trying to write his own songs, DCTH might go all the way to the top. Yep, that’s right, X-Factor 2009 here we come!