Looking Down the Barrel

It’s a funny thing being an Arsenal-hater. Let me explain. As far as I’m concerned they are always fair game because deep down I know that they try and play the game the right way, and are capable of the spectacular. You can say whatever you want about their pretentious hypocrite of a manager, their spineless players and their mute fans, because ultimately they’re going to be there-or-thereabouts for four pieces of silverware a season without fail. Now though, with things genuinely falling apart at the Emirates, I’m not really sure how I feel; I should be over-the-moon but it’s somewhat bittersweet: Arsene Wenger seems to be losing plot, half their players are injured and the other half apparently now all hate each other.

In comments released today, captain William Gallas has lifted the lid on rifts threatening to tear the dressing room apart:

When, as captain, some players come up to you and talk to you about a player…complaining about him… and then during the match you speak to this player and the player in question insults us. There comes a time where we can no longer comprehend how this can happen. I am trying to defend myself a bit without giving names. Otherwise I’m taking it all [the blame]. It’s very frustrating.”

The question of course becomes, who is this mystery detractor? Well Gallas gave us a bit of a clue by saying: “I’m 31, the player is six years younger than me.” Sooooo, who in the Arsenal set-up is 25-years-old? Bacary Sagna is way too relaxed, Emmanuel Eboue too busy playing with tigers and Emmaunel Adebayor doesn’t really have the English language skills. We are left then with a man with a history of being a tosspiece, Robin van Persie; he’s generally pretty confrontational, has a vastly inflated opinion of himself, and let’s face it, has literally the worst haircut ever.

Word is that van Persie and little Theo Woolcott had a raging fight at half-time during the 4 – 4 draw with Tottenham a few weeks ago, despite the Gunners cruising at that point, and the rest of the team cannot stand the Dutchman these days.

Oh, and in other news, Gallas’ new autobiography is released today just in time for Christmas. Hmmm.