Last season a scandal involving West Ham United and two supposedly ineligible players saw Sheffield United, most vocally but among others, fuming at the perceived injustice of it all. You can see their point too, as arguably without the world-class injections of Javier Mascherano and Carlos Tevez, the Hammers would almost certainly have faced the drop themselves instead of Neil Warnock’s battling Blades. In April last year, the necessary bodies within the FA concluded that, because the two Argentine stars were contracted only with their representative Kia Joorabchian and not the club themselves, rules had been breached. West Ham were fined a record £5.5million for the transgression, and also warned that Tevez would be ineligible to play unless they cancelled the third party agreement that existed in his original contract, but unfortunately for Sheffield United, they still suffered relegation. Those are the nuts and bolts of it then, but to be honest, everything’s still pretty confusing to work out even a year after the event. What is clear however is the feeling throughout the country that the FA bottled the decision to hand-out a proper penalty for this serious breaking of the Premier League rules, instead preferring to take the soft option of merely a fine.
The point here is that interestingly this past weekend in the Championship, a slightly similar incident occurred in the game between struggling Sheffield Wednesday and then-league-leaders StokeCity. Now the Football League’s rules dictate that in the 16-man squad announced by each team, only five loan players can be included, however, in claiming a late draw against Stoke, Wednesday actually had six loanees, with one of these players (Franck Songo'o, on loan from Portsmouth) actually bagging the vital goal. Within the lower leagues, loan signings are becoming a significantly important part of the process, with Championship sides pushing for promotion to the top flight especially reliant on these extra sprinkles of quality to get over the final hurdle.
In a statement made by StokeCity today, their case in any forthcoming inquiry will include the fact they weakened their own team on Saturday by omitting on-loan duo Paul Gallagher and Gabriel Zakuani to comply with League rules. Wednesday will clearly protest that not all six of their loanees were actually on the pitch on Saturday (hired hands Adam Bolder, from QPR, and Bartosz Slusarki, of West Bromwich Albion remained on the bench throughout) but the sheer fact that one of these six men had a direct impact on the game’s outcome could set a serious precedent. Even though the same scenario has happened once in the past, with Leeds being fined £2,000 after including six loanees in a Championship fixture at Burnley in November 2006, Leeds lost the game in question, so were obviously not seen to have gained any advantage from it.
Without doubt Wednesday will be punished for this, whether it be a fine or even a deduction of the point they earned, but as with Sheffield United last year, it is Stoke who will most likely be left out in the cold. However, with things so tight at the top of the Championship, would the likes of BristolCity, West Brom, Watford and Hull accept it if Stoke were retrospectively awarded the extra two points that they should perhaps be due? It’s an interesting decision certainly, with plenty of speculation all over message boards and 5Live call-ins as to what the ‘fair’ ruling will be. You can’t help but feel that to award Stoke points would set too dangerous a precedent, but if you deduct one from Wednesday then you’re admitting that they didn’t deserve the draw, and surely a Stoke win should stand? Conversely though, punish Wednesday with only a relatively soft fine and it seems to imply that should teams chose to field 11 loan players, they’ll only continue to be punished by a monetary hit. If this is what it takes in order to win games convincingly, then I’m sure plenty of sides will be happy to cough up every match, with the 60million pay-off in the Premier League as the end-goal.
If points weren’t at stake, in a Cup match for example, then undoubtedly Stoke would be awarded the win, but with so much to play for, it’s simply too big a call with one or two points for either side maybe enough to get them promoted or relegated. One compromise would be for Stoke to keep their one point from Saturday whatever happens, and for the two clubs to then replay the fixture for only the remaining two points. Again though, what if players from either side were injured or sent off? As you can see, a veritable quagmire exists for the Football League and the FA to navigate through.
While it’s difficult to see a ruling that awards Stoke two points, the core issue is that an ineligible player directly affected the result of a game. This is a pretty sour pill to swallow for any team, but especially worsened with promotion to the Premier League likely to come down to a single point here or there on April 26th…
With another weekend of FA Cup action upon us, STT is taking another well deserved break from the weekly grind of Premier League fixtures. This seems like as good an opportunity as any therefore to take a look at the Championship race for promotion as it enters it’s final quarter of the season. With no single team running away with it this year, 2007-08 has been one of the most exciting in recent memory, with the two teams occupying the automatic promotion places having changed no fewer than 16 times already since day one back in August. While it’d be naïve to rule out anyone’s chances even at this advanced stage, Watford, Bristol City, Stoke and West Brom do seem to have pulled away a touch from the rest of the pack, leaving a four-horse race for that vital top 2 finish. Current leaders Watford however are only four points ahead of fourth placed West Brom, so with 14 games still left to play, anything can happen.
STT for one would like to wish those teams without any experience in the top flight since the shift in 1992 to the “Premier League,” all the best! These days it seems like the Championship is just littered with those who’ve already had their shot, and a cursory glance at the table reveals that more than half of the 24 sides populating the league this year have in fact graced the Prem in the last 15 seasons. It’s time someone else had a chance, so big up also to the likes of Burnley, Plymouth and Hull, let’s see some fresh faces next year eh…
Despite selling star striker Marlon King during the January transfer window, Watford are still riding high at the top of the tree. They started the season very brightly and their intent to bounce straight back up into the Premier League was clear. Poor results during November and December saw their lead significantly reduced however, and the chasing pack led by West Brom eventually caught them up, with the Baggies eventually knocking them off the top spot in early January. The goals don’t seem to be flowing as freely as before, but a solid defence and decent away record could see them over the finishing line. As with previous forays into the top flight though, you just wonder about the amount of additional talent they will have to attract if they want to survive past next season.
Star players: Danny Shittu, Jay DeMerit, Nathan Ellington, Darius Henderson
An amazing effort from last season’s League One runners-up, I don’t think anyone expected them to be able to sustain their fine early form throughout the year. Now over the traditional Christmas road-bump, Bristol City are still hanging in there, but you have to wonder still if the squad is strong enough and experienced enough to last another couple of bruising months. The Robins have perhaps the hardest run-in of any of the promotion contenders, and with goals often hard to come by, it is going to take a truly Herculain effort to maintain this position in May when all the dust has settled. With their last appearance in what was then Division One almost 30 years ago though, surely they have to be the neutrals favourite.
Star players: Scott Murray, Michael McIndoe, Darren Byfield, Marvin Elliot
Without doubt the in-form side in the division, scoring goals for fun through a variety of players and with an excellent defensive record that both the young centre-backs and ex-England Under-21s keeper must take a lot of pride in. Often criticized for being too ‘big’ and lumberingly one-dimensional, the Potters have this year answered a lot of nay-sayers by adding attacking flow and intricate passing on top of their heavy set-piece advantages. In Fuller they have a true match-winner, and backed with ex-Premier League talent such as Lawrence, Richard Creswell and Salif Diao, there have the makings of a team very much on the up. While pointed at for representing the ‘dark’ side of the Championship, Stoke’s size and competitiveness might just be enough to keep them afloat next year should they achieve promotion. Due to once again the long absence from the top flight, as well as their admirable FA Cup effort against Newcastle recently, Stoke are another outfit that many neutrals are currently rooting for.
Star players: Ricardo Fuller, Liam Lawrence, Steve Simonson, Ryan Shawcross
West Bromich Albion (4th, 55 points)
Last time in the Top Flight – 2006
Form (last 5 games) – WLWLD
Entertainment factor – 9
Relegation Prospects If Promoted – About 50/50
Mascot – Baggie Bird
The defining yo-yo team; almost always good enough to get promoted from the Championship but rarely good enough to produce anything but last-day survival in the Premier League at best. Essentially this exact same squad of players has been up and down more times than Tigger on crystal meth, and to be honest I think many are tiring of the same old routine. On paper they almost certainly have the strongest squad, built as previously mentioned on proven top flight talent, however after so many bites at the cherry that allusive key to advancing in the Prem is still out of their grasp. Parachute payments may have gone some way to keeping the likes of Gera and Kevin Phillips year after year, but by now perhaps the team lacks the potential for first-season-in-the-big-time freshness shown to great effect by the likes of Reading and Ipswich in recent memory. The common perception is that ‘West Brazil Albion’ are the only real footballing side in the league, while the rest just hoof the ball to a big guy up front, but that supposed guile obviously isn’t enough to survive with the big boys. Failure to get promoted this year would be somewhat disastrous, but going back to the drawing board might be the best option for the Baggies in the long-term.
Star players: Zoltan Gera, Carl Hoefkens, Robert Koren, Roman Bednar
Happy day-after-Boxing-Day then faithful readers, hopefully Santa brought everyone what they wanted, and being covered in family for three days wasn’t too painful. To help choke down further mouthfuls of Turkey over the Trivial Pursuit board we were treated to a 29 goal-packed Boxing Day, while Arsenal were finally disposed from the top of the tree by Manchester United for the first time since the league table meant anything.
Yesterday saw a contender for game of the season at StamfordBridge (see extended highlights above) as the Blues shared 8 goals with rising Aston Villa, in a match that contained 3 red cards, 2 penalties and an absolute (Christmas) cracker from the re-born Shevchenko. Elsewhere, Spurs drummed hapless Fulham to continue their ascent to the business end of the table, while wins for Liverpool, Everton and Birmingham also extended their top-notch recent form. Finally, Newcastle suffered yet another defeat, but this time by fellow strugglers Wigan, in a game where they showed literally no evidence that they’d actually ever played the sport before.
Premier League Team of the Week (based on OPTA stats, Fantasypremierleague.com ratings and my own expert eye):
Keeper – Lewis Price (great debut against a determined Liverpool side)
Defence – Ryan Taylor (solid at the back and a fantastic winning freekick), Nicky Shorey (marauding wideplay and excellent delivery throughout), Sol Campbell (heavyweight performance against his old club)
Midfield – Christiano Ronaldo (constant threat with the bag of tricks well and truly open for all to see), Steven Gerrard (single-handedly secured the victory in the dying seconds), Shaun Maloney (great brace topped off an all round decent showing), Tom Huddlestone (pick of the superb Spurs midfield on the day), Tim Cahill (continuing his excellent run of form)
Up Top – Andrei Shevchenko (is he finally back to his Milan best?), Robbie Keane (sublime interplay with Berbatov and two classic poachers goals)
Weekly Awards:
Goal of the Week – Sublime individual skill from STT wet dream Fernando Torres for the opener at PridePark is in contention, but Ronaldo’s slice of freekick perfection from 25 yards has to take this.
Nutmeg of the Week – The Portuguese sleaze-meister takes this as well for a classic drag and backheel through Paul McShane in the build up to Rooney’s goal at the Stadium of Light.
Save of the Week – The aforementioned Lewis Price seemed to defy the laws of physics to palm Xabi Alonso’s thunderbolt up onto the cross bar late on.
Skill of the Week – Many examples from Mr Ronaldo once again; innumerable stepovers, flicks, pirouettes and backheels to remind everyone how smug he is against the lesser teams.
Gaffe of the Week – A collector’s item this; human brick wall Petr Cech lets a tame Maloney’s finish dribble through his arms to put Chelsea 0 – 2 down in the first half at Stamford Bridge.
Sniper-on-the-roof of the Week – It’s good to see him back but Michael Ballack’s unbalanced topple to win Chelsea’s penalty had bullet in the spinal cord written all over it.
Miss of the Week – Next Big ThingTM Giles Barnes somehow puts a header from two metres out wide of Reina’s goal.
Speculative Effort of the Week – Professional barbequer Mark Viduka tries to work off those Christmas burgers by athletically lobbing Kirkland from outside the penalty box with a bicycle kick.
Nearest Lampard came to Contributing…er, of the Week – It all proved a bit much for Frank yesterday as he decided to give Aston Villa a chance by retiring early in the first half. Was superlative up until then though, touched the ball almost 5 times.
Wrong-Place-Wrong-Time of the Week – Of all the Premier League players you don’t want falling on top of you, part-time stone column Darren Moore has to be up there with van Persie and Jonny Evans. Stephen Pearson obviously came off worse in this encounter and is now nursing a broken arm. Happy Christmas.
Fraggle Rock Character of the Week – The unfortunately named Martin Waghorn made his debut for Sunderland in their raping by Man United.
Return(s) of the Week – Nice to see Ledley King, Damian Duff and Thomas Graveson back in action. Duff perhaps wishes he’d stayed in the treatment room though.
Olympics 2012 Audition of the Week – Joleon Lescott shows another string to his bow by busting some kind of high-jump/scissors kick to clear off the line at Goodison.
Controversy of the Week – I guess it would have to be the last minute penalty at StamfordBridge given for Ashley Cole handling on the line when it appeared to hit him in the face. Given Chelsea’s own dodgy penalty though, this was probably justice.
Banter of the Week – Both Arsenal and Portsmouth fans at Fratton park singing “England’s Number 1” about their goalkeepers.
ASBO of the Week – Jointly shared by semi-professional pantomime pirate Ricardo Carvalho and Icelandic hardman Brynjar Gunnarsson, who both joined the rapidly-expanding Leg Breakers Inc. To be fair, both have since apologised.
Whinge of the Week – Arsene Wenger cannot stop complaining about Portsmouth: “They played in one half of the pitch. I don't think offensively they had a special performance, they played with 10 players at the back and in the end they got the maximum they could from this kind of game.”
Hero of the Week – Steven Gerrard for the last minute drive that gave Liverpool the win at PridePark. Running on fumes, the Scouse captain carried the ball more than 50 yards before finishing off expertly in the 94th minute to keep the Reds in touch with the top 3.
Zero of the Week – For not the first time this season it has to be Sam Allerdyce following another indifferent (to say the least) Newcastle performance. With Chelsea and Everton up next in the league, and in-form Championship highflyers StokeCity in the FA Cup, this is going to be the most crucial 10 days of Allerdyce’s career yet…
Personal Highlight of the Week – The countrywide encouragement of fancy dress for all supporters. Kind of made the hooligan fights a bit of a farce though, there’s just something ultimately depressing about glassing someone dressed as Tigger.
If you thought unbelievably shameless corruption and match-fixing was the only reason to watch African football, think again. Chances are that if you’re lucky you might even get to join in an actual riot! In the recent titanic showdown between Mali and Togo, it properly kicked off when Mali cruised to victory 2-0, helped by StokeCity behemoth Mamaday ‘Big Mama’ Sidibe, who almost paid the ultimate price for his performance.
Sidibe was knocked unconscious when Togo fans invaded the pitch after the win for Mali pipped them to a place in next year's African Cup of Nations finals, and he then subsequently lacerated two muscles in his right arm when he was actually dragged through a window during a desperate struggle to escape the trouble. The 27-year-old striker was still too distressed to talk about the John McClane-esque incident at length yesterday, but confirmed: “I think I am going to be out for three weeks, but at least I am safe now.” Sidibe's injury will undoubtedly leave both club and the player questioning the wisdom of his participation of future matches in Africa, especially after the rioters even smashed up the ambulances at the stadium so he had to be rushed to hospital in an army vehicle. Potteries manager Tony Pulis offered this comment: “By the sounds of it, he could have come out of it a lot worse. If an artery had been severed instead of muscles, it could have been fatal. You just can't believe this has happened at a football match.” This ain’t football though Tony, THIS IS AFRICA.
The riotis currently being investigated by African football chiefs, while FIFA are more than likely to examine a report from their representative at the game. The attacks are suspected to be revenge for similar bloodshed in Mali in 2006, when a World Cup qualifier against Togo had to be abandoned because of rioting fans, but apparently additional security measures were deemed unnecessary. This comes just months after all round Original Gangster and poster-child Obafemi Martins narrowly escaped an assassination attempt in his native Nigeria. He survived by doing this:
Most common missile pelted with – Respect (in an allegorical sense…not concrete letters spelling the word)
Crime Rating (sponsored by 50 Cent’s G-Unit Records) – 10
Allow me to introduce Robbie the Bobby of Bury FC, who is a truly bizarre new entry into our infamous STT mascot annals. Looking like a strange hybrid of Mr. Punch and a Lego man, Robbie the Bobby is perhaps the biggest scrapper in the mascot circle, which is ironic since he actually takes his name originally from Sir Robert Peel, famous for founding the modern police force!
His reign of terror peaked at the start of the 2001/2002 season, after a summer break full of heartache and personal discovery. First up was the visit of Stoke City, themselves armed with a strong mascot, but this did not phase the rebellious Robbie. As the game heated up, he strode round to the away supporters’ end and incited the traveling Potters’ fans beyond belief by full-on mooning them.
Next up, as the Shakers hosted Peterborough United, Robbie was involved in his first proper fight, throwing down with the fiercesome rabbit Peter-Burrow. Don’t let the Beatrix Potter-sounding name fool you: Peter-Burrow can scrap with the best of them, but Robbie the Bobby was victorious after pulling the poor rabbit’s ears clean off. Urban legend has it that Robbie actually ate the ears and consumed Peter-Burrow’s soul, but this has long been disputed by ‘scientists.’
Thirdly, in a second fight of unparalleled brutality, Robbie took on CardiffCity’s notorious Soul Crew enforcer Bartley the Bluebird, banned from the nationwide bare-wing fighting circuit for illegally pecking and flapping at his opponents. As if he had anything to prove, Robbie simply destroyed Bartley and actually removed his head at the end of the fight; as fatal for mascots as it is for humans.
From here on out, Robbie lived by his own rules but following many more complaints of abusive language and threatening behaviour from officials and opposing fans, he was canned by Bury F.C. and forced to re-think his ways down at Gigg Lane.
The fall from grace for Robbie has been dramatic, some would even say Gary Glitter-esque. He can now be found serenely giving out Christmas cards in Bury town centre during festive periods, and spearheading the town’s “five fruit and veg a day” drive around the town market at weekends.
Behind those eyes, the fires still burn though and we at STT just pray that one day, he is unleashed once more. Preferably against that pussy Gunnersaurus Rex at Arsenal.
Name – Pottermus Affiliation – Stoke City F.C. Animal – Hippo Colour – Turquoise Level of ridiculousness – 8 Most common missile pelted with - Coins
You might wonder why we at STT have chosen a relatively obscure mascot to crown as our first Mascot of the Week, but those with their ear to the street will already know: the mighty Pottermus was the run-away winner of this year’s ‘Football Furlong’ mascot race, which took place this year at Haydock Park in July.
Completing a punishing course of bouncy castle hurdles, the Potteries-based hippo cruised to victory, beating out a strong field including Hartlepool’s hotly tipped H’angus the Monkey. However, in an unforeseen show of dominance from Stoke City, second place was further claimed by Pottermus’ better half, Pottermiss, romping home to take the silver in a photo finish. See the dramatic events for yourself here-
To say that Pottermus was selected purely for his speed would be to do him a great disservice though, as researching the 7’6” blue hippo has unveiled so much more to his personality than just racing. Born with a great social conscience, Pottermus has taken part in several schemes up in Stoke-on-Trent to help make kids more aware of road safety issues, encouraging such activities as protecting a teddy bear with a seat belt, holding hands and making traffic light biscuits. So far over 10 parents have taken their kids along to these excellent seminars.
He does far more than that amateur Keegan. The murderous bastard.
In case you were wondering how to get involved yourself, the Pottermus’s are indeed available for private hire; an hour with either Pottermus or Pottermiss will cost you just 50 squid, and includes a free Stoke City football. At those kind of prices who needs to go to Amsterdam eh?
In this first of a couple of regular features here on STT, I'd like to present my all time Dream XI. The rules are....well, there are no rules, just simply pick your favourite 11 players of all time in a generally acceptable formation. Ok, so 1 rule: you can't just have 11 strikers, we want goalkeeper, four defenders and then 3/4 midfielders and 3/2 forwards, from any era. We'll aim to put a new one up every week of our choice, so get selecting now and send your Globetrotter FC to sniffingtt@hotmail.com
