We’re streaking on the Quad

Not in fact some enthusiastic Roadwarrior fans enjoying weekend sun, but four of Chelsea’s stars trying out some of their latest flashy toys. Here we can see JT, Joe Cole, Steve Sidwell and Ashley Cole heading home from training in leafy Surrey via the pub.

Perhaps the least threatening gang in the world, dressed in trendy flip-flops, polo tops and shorts, sped to a sunny beer garden near Cobham and reportedly necked twnety pints each of strong lime cordial each before heading home to knock their wives/girlfriends about. Except Ashley of course, he went home to cry and play with himself. He did look pretty menacing with a black scarf pulled over his face like a proper gang-banger but you know at heart he’s still a complete jess.

One observer helpfully offered: “It was mad not to have headgear.” With two huge games coming in the next fortnight or so, could Avram Grant really do without any of these players had they taken a tumble? Apart from JT, unequivocally yes.