Busy Eyes

Here’s an interesting story for you, well actually it’s more like two interesting stories that we have condensed into one. You see, today The Sun hit an all-time low. Now I know how outrageous a statement that sounds for the masters of the banal, but still: in a newspaper of an average of about 60 pages, can anyone really justify two articles about David Beckham looking at women other than his wife for the split-second it takes to photograph him? Now I’d be willing to bet that if you followed him around all day constantly taking photos, even The Pope’s eyes would once or twice fall on a big set of breasts, or the underwear of a woman bending over, so what exactly is the point of this?

The funny thing is that they’ve clearly been sitting on the shot at the basketball game for some time, waiting for any collaborating evidence to run it. I guess the thinking is that someone might just scan over that first picture, and then when a couple of pages later they see something similar, will come to the conclusion that he’s a cheating scumbag. Without being able to place the connection of the two stories, despite being about five pages apart in reality, the thought will be: ‘God that Beckham, he’s always out scoping the birds ain’t he!’ Such is the magic of the goldfish memory often employed by the readers of this fine newspaper.

We all know that news is a little thin on the ground at the moment, and that there’s only so many times anyone can cover the various Ronaldo/Lampard/Hleb etc transfer sagas without a little part of their souls dying, but seriously guys, try harder.