Coventry City sacked Iain Dowie today, after a poor run of results, which has left Coventry in 19th place in the Championship. Rumours that he has left to pursue a modelling career are totally fabricated. This shitcanning comes as the latest in a real string of P45s for the ex-Northern Ireland striker and must make Dowie the most sacked man in the recnet history of anything, let alone football management.
Dowie started his management career as the caretaker boss at Queen's Park Rangers in 1998, until he was replaced by the returning Gerry Francis. This taste of successful management, albeit for only 2 games, led to Dowie taking the vacant position at Oldham, as he had waited calmly in the wings until Mick Wadsworth decided it was time to bugger off. Dowie did fairly well for his first season, leading the mighty Owls into the second division playoffs, before financial difficulties forced him out the next season. Although he didn't actually get sacked from Oldham, Dowie wasn't actually getting paid for the last few months of his tenure, which is as big a hint as any, I suppose.
The Nagasaki suntanned Simon Jordan persuaded Dowie to come to Crystal Palace in 2003 and all was peachy for a couple of seasons, with Dowie turning the club around and leading Place to the Premiership in 2005, helped by Andy Johnson's goalscoring exploits. Dowie even happily dropped back down to the Real League, as Palace were relegated after just one season in the top flight, having impressed with some good performances. Dowie left Crystal Palace at the end of the 2005/06 season, by 'mutual consent'. However, having time left on his contract, it was understood that he would not take another job. Which he did, a whole 8 days later, with top flight Charlton Athletic. Jordan was so infuriated, that he apparently shot his pet labrador in the face and called Dowie to tell him he wasn't going to accept his resignation, but he was sacked.
The case of Charlton Athletic's season last year was a sad and pathetic one, resembling a beached whale of incompetence and foolish appointments, with Dowie only being given 12 Premiership games before he was shown the door, before bringing in his nice-but-crap assistant Les Reed, who got an even shorter period of torture. Dowie then took some time off, before deciding on where he was going to get sacked from next. In the end, he joined Coventry in February last year and has enjoyed mixed league form, tempered by some great Cup results this year, until he was inevitably told to piss off.
During the past few few years, Iain hasn't been alone in his constant striving for unemployment in the face of mediocre performance. His older, uglier (and presumably stupider) brother Bob joined him a Director at Crystal Palace and an assistant at Coventry. Jordan kept Bob hanging about after he sacked his younger brother, presumably just to have someone to point and laugh at, until he got bored of his face and fucked him off in between the sackings of Iain and Peter Taylor. It's pretty obvious why Dowie keeps his brute of a brother around at all times - to make himself feel like he's a good looking guy. Bob looks more like Lawrence Dallaglio, who's has an accident with a garlic press and a bottle of hydrolchloric acid.
STT reckons that Dowie will give it until August to get a job, linking himself with the vacant positions at Liverpool and Newcastle, until he takes the manager position at freshly relegated Scunthorpe for a season and a half. We give him 18 months in the job, until he gets sacked, when Bob become embroiled in a sex scandal involving a fisherman and a pensioner.
11 February, 2008
Iain Dowie - The Most Sacked Man of the Millenium?
06 February, 2008
We Are Amazing
But don’t just take my word for it. Those learned and perceptive fellows over at Soccerlens have clearly got good taste when it comes to football blogs and in their upcoming 2007 Awards, STT has been nominated for three gongs:
Although facing reasonable competition is all three categories, STT is confident that with your diligent help, kind reader, we will have enough muscle to take home at least one of these prestigious prizes, if not all three. So please, if you really love us, take a couple of seconds out of your day and follow the above links to cast your vote before polls shut February 18th. We are currently streaking out ahead in the ‘Best New Blog’ category after a couple of days of voting so forget Super Tuesday and the façade of American democracy, this is the only vote you need to think about this week!
The award ceremony itself promises to be a glamorous affair; held at Claridges initially with an after-party at Ministry of Sound going on well into the early hours. Just for turning up on the night you receive a 24 carat gold shin-pad and there’s a raffle to win the chance to have a quick squeeze of Danielle Lloyd’s norks. Hosts on the night include Les Dennis, Henry ‘the Fonz’ Winkler and Ross Kemp, with further appearances promised from such luminaries as David Ginola’s ex-wife, David Batty and Iain Dowie’s brother. We have one spare guest pass going so feel free to state your case now if you feel you’re worthy (i.e. female and fit) enough…although I should warn you that already I’ve had requests from 3/5 of Girls Aloud.
In all seriousness though folks, recognition of this kind is fantastic after just 5 months up and running, but we couldn’t have done it without all of you. So thank you for your continuing support and for spreading the word!
10 August, 2007
A bounty on his goldenballs
So the rumour is that so far David Beckham has had exactly 12 touches of the ball in a L.A. Galaxy shirt, which by my maths works out at over 10 million squid a touch, not bad eh? Posh has already humiliated herself on national TV out there, (did anyone really think it would take her long?) claiming that “they just didn’t get her sense of humour.” Yes you read that right, Posh seems to be under the delusion that she has a sense of humour…and there was me thinking that David was the comic mastermind behind their children’s names! To be honest I could ramble on about this soap opera-esque farce for ages but what I wanted to bring up was a pretty amusing rumour I heard this week: apparently Lindsey Lohan has bet some of her friends (i.e. drug dealers) $25, 000 that by Christmas she can pull David! It’s a somewhat bizarre spin on the whole ‘Celebrity Love Island’ society we live in, but I for one am all for this kind of ridiculous action. In fact, I would like to personally bet her $50,000 that she can’t pull Iain Dowie before Christmas, if she wants a challenge. Cocaine addiction is an admirable bit of training admittedly, but if she really wants to take one for the team, I’d happily pay for the necessary rehab after an encounter with the Predator’s worse looking cousin.
