Often when approaching real life sex with a girl you have to make a difficult choice between club loyalty and using a recognised method of contraception; you either wrap your scarf around your piece in the ultimate show of allegiance, or you bottle it and use an actual condom.
Bizarrely though, there two conditions for receiving the freebies; fans must be under 25 and they must complete a chlamydia screening. How incredibly pointless! No-one under 25 cares enough to use condoms, and if you already have chlamydia, then again, why would you bother bagging up! Thanks to The Spoiler for a guiding hand on this one.