Gameweek 17 - Stone the Coles

Happy Monday to one and all, after a weekend that saw clubs festively playing out scoreless draws and the big 4 all charitably drawing, to leave the top 3 unchanged.

Gareth Southgate’s record against Arsenal in his 2 and a bit years of management has been excellent, drawing 3 games and winning one. The early kickoff at the Riverside on Saturday wasn’t a game for the neutral, but saw a couple of goals. Adebayor’s opener fell straight to him from a corner, but a nice header from Arsenal reject Jeremie Aliadiere levelled it up and was the cue for much chest thumping and badge kissing from the sprightly Frenchman.

Villa's great win over a slugging Bolton took them to 4th in the table, after an excellent performance from both sides. Ashley Young and Gabriel Agbonlahor both proved to be virtually unplayable, while Villa's midfield purred under the direction of Gareth Barry. The pick of the goals has to be Agbonlahor's, collecting a long ball and smashing home like he didn't care.

A triumvirate of thumpings were dealt out by Sunderland, Wigan and Newcastle, over the pummelled West Brom, Blackburn and Portsmouth respectively. Sunderland, under interim manager Ricky Sbragia turned on the class, with Kenwyne Jones returning to form with a brace of goals after getting laid the fuck out by David James 6 months ago. Conversely, Paul Ince’s position looks increasingly untenable, after a Wilson Palacios inspired Wigan tormented a shaky Blackburn defence, which shipped 3 goals, including a cheeky Emile Heskey backheel. Newcastle also scored 3 against a woeful Pompey, who had 12 shots off target in a chilly Fratton Park encounter, the pick of them being Michael Owen's lovely chip, which will surely add another million pounds onto his inevitable transfer fee in January.

In other games, Stoke had a thrilling encounter with Fulham, which ended 0-0 and Manchester City's slide down the table continued, after a strikerless Everton side scored in injury time. West Ham's Craig Bellamy scored the first goal in a decent encounter at Stamford Bridge, but the Hammers couldn't do anything about Anelka's reply, although they held on for a very creditable draw.

Goal of the Week

It has to be Heskey's effort, even if he didn't mean it. The big striker, whose ball control has been likened to a Disney character on frozen water in the past, touched in a nice cross from Zaki with a flick behind his standing leg.

Game of the Week – Liverpool vs Hull City

An exhilarating contest at Anfield ended with Liverpool and Hull City earning a point apiece and it would have been unfair for either side to lose. The Tigers have made a surprisingly bright start to the season and their attacking adventure has been just as refreshing. They forged a two-goal lead thanks to a Paul McShane header and Jamie Carragher own goal but Liverpool's talisman Steven Gerrard rescued his team once again with two clinical finishes before the break. There was no change to the scoreline in the second half as the visitors held firm to frustrate Rafa Benitez's men.

Player of the Week – Gabriel Agbonlahor

Perhaps inspired by team-mate Ashley Young's recognition in the same category last weekend, Agbonlahor produced a dazzling display to help Aston Villa come from behind and claim a 4-2 victory over Bolton. The newly-capped England international dragged Villa level at 1-1 with a fine strike and later showed another side to his game with a headed goal. The speedy striker was a constant threat and his final contribution was to set up Young for a fourth late on.

Hero of the Week

Martin O'Neill's men really showed what they can do on Saturday, with an absolutely beautiful attacking display against a pretty well organised Bolton team. In moving up into 4th, ahead of Arsenal, Villa really showed what they are made of and what they can potentially achieve this season, when Arsenal may not be at their best.

Zero of the Week

John Pantsil's hilarious panto dive takes the biscuit here. After an ill-advised contretemps with Yardie striker Ricardo Fuller, where foreheads were homoerotically rubbed, Pantsil went down like he'd been helicoptered by John Holmes. Fuller's reaction was priceless - a combination of malice, confusion and disdain.

Petulance of the Week

Ronaldo's silly little kick on Dawson deserved a card and players have been sent off for much less, even though Ronnie wanted big hugs to say sorry afterwards.