Score Goal, Get Beer

Ok so everyone knows that Austria are an appalling national outfit then, and that obviously the tournament would’ve been so much better and more exciting had England just been given their place out of sympathy. Anyway, an embarassed Vienna brewery has taken matters into its own hands by promising a life-long supply of free beer to any Austria player who actually manages to score a goal in the co-hosts remaining two group matches against Poland and Germany. What’s next…underage prostitutes if they make it out of the group stage? A cocaine IV-drip if they get to the semis?? A legally-pardoned murder each if they win the whole tournament??? Actually yeah, that’d be awesome!

“Maybe this is the kind of motivation that will give them the last kick our team needs to be successful,” Ottakringer Brauerei AG chief executive Sigi Menz said in a statement, adding he would personally deliver the winner’s supply for the whole first year. Now if this isn’t enough to motivate the side (ranked 92^nd in the world) to perform better than they did against Croatia last week, then they are a real lost cause, but one wonders if it might encourage some slightly selfish ball-hogging in the final third. Also, what happens if they are awarded a penalty? Surely fist fights will ensue over the priceless booty?! Obviously the smart play would be for the players to all agree to divvy up any Ottakringer won and to just play as a team, but remember, these are footballers we’re talking about here.

Thanks to http://euro2008.worldcupblog.org, and as ever the Spoiler, for the heads up on this one