Along with the majority of the country, I am not currently enjoying the slow-motion car crash that is Paul Gascoigne’s life. He was basically my hero growing up, so seeing how his wife is manipulating anyone who’ll listen against him, and the footballing world turning their back on him, isn’t great. Anyway, a small silver lining is that Newcastle United have snapped up Gazza’s seven-year-old nephew Cameron Gascoigne on a junior contract after scouts noticed the youngster bagging a not-bad 22 (twenty two!) goals in recent half hour 5-a-side game. In a show of brilliant humiliation for the opposition, Cameron wass even asked to swap sides at half-time to keep the score fair.
This sounds like exactly the kind of project Gazza might need to help get his head back together and concentrate on. Success managing Cameron would also be the best possible ‘fuck you’ to ex-wife Cheryl imaginable.