21 January, 2009

The King is Dead…Long Live the King

Along with the majority of the country, I am not currently enjoying the slow-motion car crash that is Paul Gascoigne’s life. He was basically my hero growing up, so seeing how his wife is manipulating anyone who’ll listen against him, and the footballing world turning their back on him, isn’t great. Anyway, a small silver lining is that Newcastle United have snapped up Gazza’s seven-year-old nephew Cameron Gascoigne on a junior contract after scouts noticed the youngster bagging a not-bad 22 (twenty two!) goals in recent half hour 5-a-side game. In a show of brilliant humiliation for the opposition, Cameron wass even asked to swap sides at half-time to keep the score fair.

The young chap apparently idolizes his uncle and spends every night practicing on a rather modest artificial pitch he has in his back garden: “Paul is an inspiration to Cameron on the pitch – and I’m just hoping he will learn from his mistakes off it. He absolutely adores his uncle and is so proud to wear the name Gascoigne on the back of his shirt. My brother needs to get well for himself because he is a good man and deserves some happiness. But he’s also really keen to help Cameron become the very best player he can.”

This sounds like exactly the kind of project Gazza might need to help get his head back together and concentrate on. Success managing Cameron would also be the best possible ‘fuck you’ to ex-wife Cheryl imaginable.

3 comments:

Mosher said...

Thank you for not jumping on the usual "he's a fat drunken fuckwit who deserves to have his name dragged through the mud" bandwagon that seems so popular these days.

My uncle's a Celtic supporter and has nothing but good words to say about Gazza, relating to his time up in Scotland. A lot of kids got to meet im, randomly, and I've never heard him described as anything other than generous, kind, human and with all the time in the world for anyone who wanted to talk to him.

Unlike such primadonas as that Ronaldo fuckwit.

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