It should come as no surprise to you that Wayne Rooney’s two younger brothers are scumbags. The parents aren’t exactly regal to say the least, and well, when your older sibling makes more than £100,000 a week you’re kind of entitled I guess to follow him around and try to nail his leftovers. John, 17, and Graham, 18, are cursed however with the exact same family looks, so without the spending power of 
Graham did the sensible thing by just dating a relative of Coleen, escorting her 17-year-old cousin Carly Gardiner to various underwhelming events over the last few months. Now Coleen is one of those WAGs that splits opinion; she’s certainly not ugly, but no matter how many posh outfits she wears, ultimately she’s pretty plain. Our Carly on the other hand is unburdened by contractual clothing obligations, and so is free to dress in her own style. Unfortunately for her though, the results are not pleasing. In this photo here she looks like a cross between the beast from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast and a fire-damaged welly. And that’s being generous.
The youngest of the Rooney brothers must have a similarly genius plan to get the ladies then, right? While Graham has used his trademark Roman nose and rugged jaw-line to sensibly pursue a career as a boxer, John has found a different tack. And by that I mean the same tack as
