Warning: May Contain Actual Porn

Over the years, we at STT have longingly suggested that football and porn could be successfully meshed. However, the distinct lack of cameras, a studio and willing ‘models’ have held us back from producing the future-classic Any Hole’s a Goal™ that we know we have in our locker. After more than four man hours of expansive story-boarding and internet-based ‘research,’ the towel has had to be thrown in because, well, stupid shit like girlfriends and jobs kept getting in the way.

Brazilians have no such problems. You see, they have persuaded one of Ronaldo’s (the transsexual-prostitute-loving-one, not the multiple-regular-prostitute-loving-one) ex-girlfriends to star in a porn movie with a bonafide genuine Ronaldo look-a-like. The delectable Vivi Brunieri has thus changed her name to Vivi Ronaldinha, and the inspirationally-titled: Vivi Ronaldinha, My First Time is out there now for everyone with an internet connection to see for themselves.

A couple of treats for you now then, courtesy of those excellent chaps over at Dirty Tackle. Firstly, what appears to be some kind of attempt at a viral video, in which someone with a video camera conveniently catches Ronaldinha and Ronaldo messing around through their hotel room window:



Secondly, a Behind the Scenes featurette which is obviously all kinds of awesome-



The guy’s face just makes me laugh so much!

Truly Terrifying

The thing about amateur porn is that normally if your eyes stray from the, er, main attraction, you tend to see stuff in the background that sort of ruins the mood. You know what I’m talking about. You’re watching some guy’s behind-the-scenes cheerleader trials home movie when all of a sudden something catches your eye and it’s game over. From what I hear from my friends, this tends to be mouldy food, an animal carcass, or some pretty sinister drug-injecting paraphernalia. Other times though, it’s just the sheer depravity of the location, and its low budget implications, that feed the rising tide of guilt and make you actually worry if the girls you’re watching are ok and not just being exploited for crystal meth. As I’m sure you’ll all agree, these kind of thoughts have no place in a man’s head.

Personal inflection aside, what’s the point of this you might justly wonder. Well, The Spoiler has uncovered some truly breath-taking amateur porn(ish) photos of Czech defender Tomas Ujfalusi and his wife Katerina, where they are posing amongst tattered cardboard boxes and a rather fetching old fence.

Mystery shrouds these shots, but what is clear is that after the football dries up for Tomas, a prosperous career with his wife as a serial killer couple surely awaits.