Warning: Contains a Tenuous Analogy

The world of wannabe WAGs / glamour models is apparently a fickle one. Just days after the office party in honour of Danielle Lloyd and Chantelle Houghton becoming official BFFs, they have fallen out spectacularly according to the usual gossip channels. The big-chested Celebrity Big Brother winner was on the receiving end of Lloyd’s sharp tongue for dating her fantastically desirable ex, the irrepressible Jermain Defoe. So yet again the pint-sized Portsmouth striker has hot girls fighting over him. It just isn’t fair.

Anyway, Lloyd was overheard at London’s Embassy Club mumbling this somewhat oblique insult: “If Jermain wants her, he’s welcome to her. She’s not like me — she’s like Woolworths.” Interesting analogy there Danielle, but I’m not quite sure it works. You see, both Ms Lloyd and Ms Houghton are pretty cheap composites of various plastic items, so I’m not quite sure what that makes Lloyd if Houghton is “Woolworths.” Costcutters maybe? I don’t know.

An unnamed insider helpfully clarified though: “Imitation is the highest form of flattery. So Dan is entertained by Chantelle’s style-stalking. She got a boob job, started the glamour modeling, and began hanging out with Danielle’s friends at her favourite nightclubs.” So far, so impressively descriptive and egotistical. “But there’s only one Danielle Lloyd, and she’s amused that her ex has pulled the Woolworths version of herself,” the source concluded smugly. I still don’t get it.

In case you care, Lloyd was out celebrating the 21st birthday of former Big Brother girl Chanelle Hayes. You know, the one that thinks she’s Victoria Beckham. Suffice to say, it was a truly magical night.