02 December, 2008

When It Hits You Feel No Pain

The best thing about being a footballer is having really cool mates. You know, the celebrity equivalent of that kid at school who had his 18th birthday on a boat cruising up and down the Thames, only this time the boat is rotating bed covered in topless models, and the river is a swimming pool full of champagne and cocaine. As such, after flogging themselves half to death since August playing 15 matches, footballers have well and truly earned their decadent Christmas bashes.

The four most street players in the country are already wallowing in disappointment however because, according to reports today, Didier Drogba, Nicolas Anelka, El-Hadji Diouff and Djibril Cisse have all been banned by their managers from attending a lavish £1million Miami-based bash hosted by hip-hop stars Lil’ Wayne and Akon.

Now putting aside the fact that Wayne and Akon are complete tools, this does actually sounds like a pretty ace party. You see they were both planning to host seperate Christmas parties on the same day, but then decided to merge them into one ‘super-party’ when they realized what had happened. Never ones to give a shit about the global economic problems or climate change, the pair have arranged for real snow to be flown in from Greenland, and have invited the crème de la crème of ‘urban’ talent. Kanye West will be there, as will Gwen Stefani, and even Michael Jackson’s supposed to showing up. Not bad eh?

An insightful Chelsea source offered this: “The party promises to be the biggest hip-hop bash ever thrown. Lil Wayne and Akon are each pouring hundreds of thousands of pounds into it. The footballers were really up for a big night out but the bosses have said no.” I hope you will all join me in giving a big “Boooo!” to Phil Scolari and Roy Keane for not being ‘down.’

The foursome might do well to stay away however, as both hosts have attracted a fair bit of controversy over the years. Not content with having a horribly shit and squeaky singing voice, Akon also has a history of gun possession, car theft and assault. Most charmingly though he was filmed quite aggressively dry-humping a 15-year-old girl in Trinidad a couple of years ago now. His defense was genuinely that she and her father (a local preacher) should’ve known better about letting her go out dressed like a hoochie. He seems like a nice guy.

If possible, Lil’ Wayne is actually less talented than Akon, but putting that aside he’s also more of a prick. By the age of 14 he’d already fathered a child and managed to shoot himself by accident, and earlier this year his tour-bus was found to contain an impressive 3.7 ounces of weed, just over an ounce of cocaine, 1.4 ounces of Ecstasy and $22,000 in cash. I’m guessing he was tricked into carrying all of those things. More amusingly though, last year Wayne was also photographed kissing another rapper called Baby a.k.a The Birdman on the lips. Not so tough now are you Weezy?

P.S. please don’t shoot me

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

成人電影,情色,本土自拍, 美女交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人貼圖, 成人電影, A片, 豆豆聊天室, 聊天室, UT聊天室, 尋夢園聊天室, 男同志聊天室, UT男同志聊天室, 聊天室尋夢園, 080聊天室, 080苗栗人聊天室, 6K聊天室, 女同志聊天室, 小高聊天室, 情色論壇, 色情網站, 成人網站, 成人論壇, 免費A片, 上班族聊天室, 成人聊天室, 成人小說, 微風成人區, 色美媚部落格, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人論壇, 情色聊天室, 寄情築園小遊戲, AV女優,成人電影,情色,本土自拍, A片下載, 日本A片, 麗的色遊戲, 色色網, ,嘟嘟情人色網, 色情網站, 成人網站, 正妹牆, 正妹百人斬, aio,伊莉, 伊莉討論區, 成人遊戲, 成人影城,

ut聊天室, 免費A片, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友, 本土自拍, 免費A片下載, 性愛,
成人交友,
嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, aV, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片,成人電影,情色,本土自拍,