Fishing for Men

Demonstrating a miraculous level of insight into exactly what will successfully lure punters into a half-full stadium, Bolton Wanderers are to offer FREE BEER this weekend to the first 1,000 supporters through their doors. Not just that though, because also half-time food and drink costs will be heavily subsidised, with prices tumbling to £1.75 for beer or cider. If only other clubs would catch on and realise that these are the kind of things that will tempt fans back to live football, not criminally under-age cheerleaders or live performances from X-Factor rejects.

Bolton have apparently already taken measures to tempt back absent fans, after crowds plummeted by 11% last season, what with a relegation battle on their hands and all. As such, ticket prices behind both goals have been slashed to £15; youngsters can buy a season ticket for £49; and fans are being encouraged to bring banners and flags to the ground’s newly designated “singing end.” It seems like we are all so far down the road to corporate ruin to comment that these kind of ‘radical new measures’ should be the standard, but I guess kudos are still in order for bothering to actually doing something about it.

While I see no problem with attempting to bolster attendances by offering free beer, apparently some kill-joys have already starting kicking off about it. These crusaders are called anti-alcohol campaigners, people have are so genetically opposed to fun in any way that they stay up every night watching Robin Williams marathons just to ensure they are permanently in a shit mood. True story.