03 September, 2007

Gameweek 5–Zat's the way uh-huhuh-huh I like it

Happy Monday everyone, as usual hope good weekends were had all round. Another week and again it’s all change, with only Arsenal, Liverpool, Newcastle and Blackburn remaining undefeated as we move into September. Liverpool sit atop the table after an absence of 5 years and could remain there until Chelsea or United get their act together. With the fortnight International break now upon us, we will take some time to review what we’ve seen so far and try to make some early sweeping generalizations. So until then, let’s get straight down to the action.

Premier League Team of the Week (based on OPTA stats, Fantasypremierleague.com ratings and my own expert eye):

Keeper – Rob Green (penalty save, plus another cracking double save towards the end of the game)

Defence – Alvaro Arbeloa (rampaging), Joleon Lescott (continuing fine early season form with another solid defensive display, capped off with a crucial goal), Steven Taylor (authoritative), Gael Clichy (caused constant problems going forward and shut Utaka down)

Midfield – Cesc Fabregas (fantastic again), Xavi Alonso (could’ve had a hat-trick), Matthew Ethrington (generally excellent performance and two decent goals…just can’t ever do it against the big clubs though can he)


Up Top – Craig Bellamy (when he’s interested, still up there with the best of em), Dimitar Berbatov (finally re-capturing the form of last season with some immaculate touches and link-up play), Fernando Torres (another superlative performance full of pace, directness and class)

Weekly Awards:

Nutmeg of the Week – Didn’t see who it was but hats off to the Sunderland player who got Nani good...nutmeg points always count double when you ‘meg a ‘megger!

Goal of the Week – Again, quite a few big goals this week but personal favourite was Berbatov’s piledriver of a volley.

Save of the Week – Craig Gordon clawing a Louis Saha snapshot round the post.

Skill of the Week – Robin van Persie for his Ronladinho-esque change of direction past Hreidarsson.

Unintentional Skill of the Week – Kanu’s expert double flick off both legs to put the ball in the net for Pompey’s consolation goal

Wrestling Move of the Week – Martin Laursen reeling out old-classic the Stone Cold Stunner on Shaun Wright-Phillips early on in the game at Villa Park.

Nearest Lampard came to Contributing…er, of the Week – Another solid performance from Frank this week, was involved in everything Chelsea, er, created. According to all the pundits, his absence was the main reason why they lost…

Dummy of the Week – Ryan Babel’s shotfake/jedi mind trick that encouraged Griffin and Davis into tackling each other on the edge of the Derby box in the build up to his goal.

Best Tag Team/Potential-Rap-Duo-If-Their-Careers-Go-Down-the-Pan-Anytime-Soon of the Week – AJ and the Yak, although that probably wouldn’t be their recording name...maybe something cleverer that plays on their races like ‘The DJ Ebony & MC Ivory Man Dem’

Sniper-on-the-roof of the Week – Dave Kitson takes one to the shoulder for the Reading penalty.

Most Homoerotic Celebration of the Week – The Arsenal boys acting out what looked like a ghetto gang-bang after Tomas Rosicky put the game beyond Pompey.

Day off of the Week – Did Pepe Reina actually touch the ball?

Shin of the Week – Magical connection from Kamara with not quite his foot on the overhead kick...extra kudos for the sheer incoherence of his post-match interview.

Gaff of the Week – Mikel Alonso for taking a step off the back post for Lescott last minute winner; if he’d stayed put and taken Lescott’s header full-on in the happy sacks, Bolton would’ve got a deserved share of the points.
Note: No longer the ‘Tony Warner and Jens Lehmann Award’ as they seem to have both been dropped...maybe STT has more influence than we thought!

Quote of the Week – Steve Bruce: “Today we were awful, I hope we’re better against Bolton…well we have to be, it can’t get any worse”

Hero of the Week – Zat Knight who, as a life-long Villa fan, scored against Chelsea on his victorious debut in the claret and blue.

Zero of the Week – sadly, it might have to be Martin Jol again, whose stout neck is on the chopping block once more, having seen his boys blow a 2 goal lead at Craven Cottage.

Personal Highlight of the Week – Probably seeing Michael Owen playing like somewhere near his old self for the first time in year; looked very sharp and created a lot of chances…admittedly he was being marked by Titus Bramble though so maybe we shouldn’t get too excited just yet….